By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 03:21 - United States

Spicy
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 114
You deserved it 13 841

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sheesh - poor guy was under so much pressure, what with trying to replicate every cliched movie ever made 'n all, no wonder he choked!

Rose petals? Somebody's read a few too many romance novels. At least you didn't have a Twilight fantasy.... **** that shit.

Comments

awww poor girl. next time go simple, no music and keep the roses in a vase.

That's y u dont plan it out!! U just gotta let it happen when the times right

Pop culture makes the first time super important, but in reality it kind of sucks. It's short, boring, awkward, and you're sore afterward (if it lasted).

Agreed. It only gets better with practice. It's exciting because it's a first time, but honestly... there's really not that much to it.

Don't you worry, shit happens! Try again and it'll go better

AwfullyniceBS 7

YDI OP! You don't plan your first time! That's why it's amazing because it's supposed to be SPONTANEOUS -.-

That's sweet, well... if it weren't for the cd skipping, the ants and the not getting it up part :/

probably couldn't get it up because all of the ants up in his butt.

Don't worry OP- the first time is never perfect!

It levers better. Stop staging the act and just do it.