Love: Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first...

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 114

You deserved it 13 841

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 5 116

DJ Perfectionist

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 3 104

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 5 523

Loverman

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 7 387

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 757

You deserved it 5 994

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 418

You deserved it 5 563

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 012

You deserved it 7 446

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 399

You deserved it 14 504

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 26 490

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 323

You deserved it 38 286

thequickredofox 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 9:13

Sheesh - poor guy was under so much pressure, what with trying to replicate every cliched movie ever made 'n all, no wonder he choked!

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 3 September 2009 9:10

Rose petals? Somebody's read a few too many romance novels. At least you didn't have a Twilight fantasy.... **** that shit.

Comments

Gillypants 3

Thursday 3 September 2009 12:09

if rose petals are your idea of perfect, then you totally deserve it. why don't you try having a moment of intense passion and see if he can get it up then. jesus.

Yaridovich23 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 12:34

What's with the rose petal thing? I find that a bit weird.

UseTheFrags 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 12:35

Unlucky :( **** all these guys saying you're stupid for having rose petals. If that's what you like, who cares?

jdannyl 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 12:37

You've watched too many shitty tv shows, that's not even vaguely romantic and certainly not erotic. Get your pussy off that pedestal. if you love him and want to have sex with him then do it, virginity isn't that important, you should only have sex with someone if you love them, doesn't matter if it's the 1st or the 50th time

iwadasn 32

Thursday 3 September 2009 13:21

Just because virginity isn't important to you doesn't mean everyone in the world has to feel the same way. For some people, losing their virginity is a very important occasion. I'm not saying they should expect their first time to be perfect, but it's okay to want it to be just a little more special than the average time.

Callyn 47

Thursday 3 September 2009 16:31

Well, no it's actually not ok to want the first time you ever have sex to be better than the average time. It's retarded to think that that is even possible, you've never done it before so it's going to suck. You're going to suck at it and if your partner is also a virgin they're going to suck as well, making it even worse. If you put any value on your first time, you're just going to end up incredibly disappointed.

windmillary 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 17:19

Or how about you're just happy that you're discovering new territory with a person you love and have fun doing so? It's not all about performance, it's unrealistic to think either person will be good at it, but focusing on only the physical is a very sad attitude. If you expect to be disappointed, you will be.

Puolukka 4

Thursday 3 September 2009 19:17

I agree with windmillary here. My first time ever was amazing...I was in love with the guy I was with, he was very attentive, we took our time and it didn't bleed or hurt at all. It's true, if you expect it to hurt or to suck,then it most likely will be going to. That's how women work, if you're scared of it hurting you're not gonna be relaxed and then it most likely WILL hurt.

joy1523 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 7:40

of course the first time should be "special". however, that doesn't mean its going to be mind blowing, or even "good sex". chances are the sex itself will NOT be that good. the only thing that needs to be good is the whole experience itself, which usually only happens if you are with someone you are comfortable with, if you don't put unrealistic pressure on the way it will play out, and if you both can keep a sense of humor during the whole thing...