Love: Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing...

By oops - 27/03/2014 23:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 138

You deserved it 7 129

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 208

You deserved it 4 109

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 4 712

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 519

You deserved it 94 557

By csgocockblock - 27/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 447

You deserved it 2 727

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

It's hot!

By joyf - 08/12/2019 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 2 454

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 353

You deserved it 6 228

By whyme - 13/07/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 666

You deserved it 41 847

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 114

Idiotskillme 20

Friday 28 March 2014 10:49

At least he has manners :)

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Friday 28 March 2014 10:49

At least you know that he respects your privacy!

Comments

Rammer3500 23

Wednesday 24 December 2014 7:08

How is this bad. You cant break gods law of sex being between MARRIED COUPLES. I see no problem here.

prettygurl89 16

Thursday 22 January 2015 3:47

That's cute

LoveNnyl 23

Tuesday 21 April 2015 13:31

He is the most decent FML boyfriend I've seen.

cdncw 20

Tuesday 28 April 2015 18:41

Awe, that's actually kinda cute!

HamletSmoke 5

Thursday 28 April 2016 14:47

Haha, that's amazing

Rammer3500 23

Thursday 9 June 2016 22:13

That would totally be me

becca9985 34

Wednesday 15 June 2016 21:51

Not gonna lie, he sounds adorable. :)

Tyrax 16

Tuesday 2 August 2016 14:25

That's actually adorable.

SaucierGirl 20

Thursday 18 October 2018 23:44

What a sweetheart!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 880

You deserved it 2 378

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 690

You deserved it 2 781

Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 136

Today, I thought the earwig infestation that had plagued my basement apartment for weeks had finally solved itself. Turns out the black widow infestation took care of it for me. Time to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 707

You deserved it 851

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 771

You deserved it 19 620

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 078

You deserved it 3 831

Same thing different taste

It's business time

It's hot!

Surprise!

Top comments

Comments