Kids: Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off....

By justme - 09/02/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 643

You deserved it 5 174

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 962

This old house

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 16:00

Today, the smoke alarm went off while I was in the shower. Fearing a house fire, I jumped out and ran out, wearing just a tiny towel that barely covered my modesty, only to realize that water was coming through the ceiling and on to the smoke alarm, via a leak in the shower tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 151

By Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 3 325

By YoshiSqu4d - 03/07/2019 14:01

Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 112

By Drill Drilled - 15/04/2015 22:12 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 416

You deserved it 3 978

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 450

By lollerskate - 16/01/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 264

You deserved it 37 845

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 302

You deserved it 5 917

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 8 666

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

kingwaldo 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:14

Looks like someone had a shitty day.

saranottelling 7

Tuesday 9 February 2010 23:19

I can already see almost every comments, "Why does your kid have access to your wallet and the toaster? YDI!!!!!111." Meanwhile, the OP's kid, a 35 year old, is eating Pop Tarts and playing Tetris inthe basement. He's thinking on doing something with his girlfriend later, Bertha. Bertha is a blow-up doll. He hides his parents medications so they can't kick him out. He also starves them by eating all the food they have. OP, f your life indeed.