Today, I was arrested for a crime that happened 27 years ago....

By Anonymous - 14/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was arrested for a crime that happened 27 years ago. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 587

You deserved it 145

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Same thing different taste

Saturday night fever

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 08:09

Today, I was arrested on my 25th birthday and thrown in jail overnight for impersonating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 01/02/2018 19:00

Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 750

You deserved it 691

By Chase - 15/05/2017 18:00

Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 335

You deserved it 6 413

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 477

Busted

By bustedfornuthin - 08/09/2010 04:42 - United States

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gunpoint, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 912

You deserved it 2 498

Wrong 'un

By TheBeautifulOne - 23/08/2012 13:42 - United Kingdom - Ayr

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 112

You deserved it 82 180

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 5 910

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

Unruly meets incompetence

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the library when police arrested me for threatening people. The librarian even told them I did nothing wrong, and that the actual girl they wanted had already left. They took me in anyway. My dad sided with the police and let me “think about what I did” in jail overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 85

By oldschool - 23/01/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 400

You deserved it 28 905

riley873 21

Wednesday 14 August 2019 1:34

This needs an update and more info

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 14 August 2019 0:57

So, you were a thug in your previous life? Karma works slowly, my friend.

Comments

themetropolitan 19

Wednesday 14 August 2019 16:18

Did you time travel to the past and kill your mom before she met your dad?

Joshawott 21

Wednesday 14 August 2019 17:10

Yeah, those new Buddhist Task Forces are pretty thorough.

tipsyone 22

Thursday 15 August 2019 0:21

I knew time-travel was possible.

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 815

You deserved it 9 770

Today, my boss sacked me because I only sold 3 cars last month. He made no allowance for the fact we’re in such a rural location we only had 3 customers actually walk in the door, and I sold a car to all 3 of them. That’s a 100% success rate. What else could I do, drag customers in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 62

The Top

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the allotted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me, "Rules are rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 244

You deserved it 7 385

Today, a thunderstorm killed our internet and I realized there were lots of things I could do "in the real world", but… I’m too tired to do any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 609

Today, my college roommate tried to kick me out, because what I say makes her uncomfortable. We haven't talked for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 843

You deserved it 1 843

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 673

Today, I had an offer for a job, and was going to receive the offer letter… only if I would postpone my oncologist appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 89

Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 157