Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside...

By Poser - 20/12/2009 04:24 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 228

You deserved it 46 170

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Same thing different taste

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 990

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 909

You deserved it 60 289

By Misky - 02/07/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 596

You deserved it 28 476

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 619

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 681

You deserved it 8 089

By wishihadpockets - 28/01/2010 10:24 - United States

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 43 253

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 628

You deserved it 73 912

By chinousmc - 06/12/2012 11:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 3 422

By Anonymous - 03/09/2014 22:30 - United States - Phillipsburg

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 049

You deserved it 36 177

By FlGirl - 24/12/2009 07:00 - United States

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 727

You deserved it 34 066

nenagh_ 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 9:03

yep, YDI. you would risk cancer + DEATH so you can make out with some guy??

Luckster 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 9:08

You don't NEED to smoke to go outside with him dumbass.

Comments

marc_with_a_c 3

Sunday 20 December 2009 15:29

You're an idiot.. when I have smoker friends who go outside for one, I just go along too and that's it, I don't pretend to smoke.. seriously get a brain

PhillyFox 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 15:56

So you were willing to take up an unhealthy habit for some random guy you met at a bar? I suppose if he needed to go outside to do a line of coke you'd suddenly take up that habit, too. Try being yourself for once, jeeze. You sound so desperate it's pathetic. Not to mention you're extra stupid for 1) not knowing which end of the cigarette to light and 2) for not thinking of another excuse to go outside that didn't resort you to smoke.

lostfaithinpppl 19

Sunday 20 December 2009 17:44

+1 The words of wisdom!

KamilleBlack 3

Sunday 20 December 2009 16:33

EW! Girl, u don't want a smoker! Their disgusting! I heard kissing them is like licking an ash tray. yuck.

originalusername_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 17:31

nice username, Poser; it really completes your FML. you deserved it so badly that 'YDI' doesn't even cut it.

jillz 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 17:38

OP, you are too eager. Let him be the one to follow you around lest you look like a ****. For your own good, stop being so interested in the boys.

littlexlion 4

Sunday 20 December 2009 17:41

Please don't procreate.

originalusername_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 17:43

#50, you just made my day XD

Lisa89 3

Sunday 20 December 2009 18:09

why didn't you just ask if you could come to chat with him..

blastvortex 3

Sunday 20 December 2009 18:16

It's not like you couldn't have just joined him sans the cig anyway. Besides that, you could've squeaked out of it by making like you were already buzzed. Get it together, OP.

StaticDown 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 18:48

Yeah, how can she not know that orange is the side you inhale on. I'm not a smoker but I know that much, should become common sense to know that stuff how often people smoke.