Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and...

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 61 299

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 464

You deserved it 3 714

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 238

You deserved it 1 266

By Tommy - 06/03/2012 18:55 - United States

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 23 369

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 4 198

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 658

You deserved it 6 157

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 029

You deserved it 2 796

By feelinnauseous - 24/06/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 993

You deserved it 15 729

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 424

You deserved it 3 605

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 499

You deserved it 56 516

superstephen4 5

Sunday 11 October 2009 1:25

wow. I can imagine doing that

TheKitsune 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 1:28

Don't guys need to... aim? Do you usually just let it flop about while you pee?

Comments

RubixMonkey 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 2:58

Yes, peeing my pants, reminds me of the awkward kid from second grade.

Captain_Jello 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 3:01

I was going to say something generic, but then I realized that you are French.

paivarotti 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 3:01

couldn't bring myself to vote ydi.

littlegolferboy 4

Sunday 11 October 2009 4:44

The OP's username is oh so appropriate.

jailbot 7

Sunday 11 October 2009 4:57

How is that even possible? Oh lord, no wonder boys always leave the bathroom so messy, they don't even try to aim. =/ Shame.

alwaysalady 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 5:21

and this is another shining example of how alcohol does not make you cool

Chr0nicdreamz 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 5:27

dumbass

Pastor_Rich 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 5:38

have you ever had wood but had to pee and couldn't or else it would go up and everywhere

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 5:39

That's when the sink counter helps, isn't it?

WorkThatButt 2

Sunday 11 October 2009 6:07

IF I WERE YOU I'D GET 100% NAKED ZOMG :O :O :O

JediJoker 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 7:10

Ive been shitfaced many times in my life, never to that extent, how could you not know you weren't holding your dick as you peed? You so deserved it

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 76

Today, I was expecting a package from Amazon, so when the doorbell rang I rushed out in my pajamas. It wasn't the delivery guy. It was my ex and her new boyfriend, here to drop off some of my old stuff. I'd answered the door wearing an anime onesie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 509

The Top

Today, after driving 3 and a half hours to the nearest major emergency room, waiting 7+ hours to see my grandfather's bowel cancer specialist, we were told to go back to our hotel. Why? The triage nurse never logged my grandfather into the system, so his doctor went home at 9.00 p.m. when he'd finished theatre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 78

Today, I got home and saw my bed was made different and there was a wet spot on the sheets. It wasn’t until I sniffed it did I realise what it was. I’m now 99% certain my Mum and Dad had sex in my bed, and I'd sniffed their mixed up love juices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 129

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 478

You deserved it 4 027

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 107

You deserved it 1 908

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 3 983

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 304

You deserved it 22 964

Same thing different taste

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

Fast and Furious

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