Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and... - FML

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 61 299

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 464

You deserved it 3 714

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 238

You deserved it 1 266

By Tommy - 06/03/2012 18:55 - United States

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 23 369

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 4 198

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 658

You deserved it 6 157

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 029

You deserved it 2 796

By feelinnauseous - 24/06/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 993

You deserved it 15 729

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 424

You deserved it 3 605

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 499

You deserved it 56 516

Next

Top comments

superstephen4 5

Sunday 11 October 2009 1:25

wow. I can imagine doing that

TheKitsune 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 1:28

Don't guys need to... aim? Do you usually just let it flop about while you pee?

Comments

jw90 18

Sunday 11 October 2009 7:29

Guess you pissed the night away.

Basiil 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 8:21

ur name is perfect for u.

srak 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 8:54

loser is right

bunnyy 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 10:55

How drunk were you to not realize the pee streaming down your leg + the fact you were not holding yourself?? YDI

xFaust_fml 12

Sunday 11 October 2009 11:19

Well this made me laugh like hell =D

machete_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 13:49

why would anyone YDI this? you people never do stupid things when drunk? geeeeeeez

gameoverman_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 14:18

As if Frenchies don't walk around with their baguettes on display anyway, sober or otherwise. Ooh la la.

punky_fool 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 15:46

in the words of red forman "you dumbass" lol (his on thats 70's show)

Smokes1194 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:09

You to not notice that your dick wasn't in your hands while you were pissing you must have been really ****** drunk dude! I don't know if it's an FML or not...

lahp 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 16:57

why does every one pee them self on this website!

monkey314159 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 17:51

My same exact thought. I'm not a fan of drinking and seeing all these posts saying, "What's the big deal? That happens all the time to me." Just further proves it's killing society. People are viewing getting drunk and pissing your pants as normal? Really guys...

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 094

You deserved it 13 428

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, I've learned that you can get chronic obstructive pulmonary disease from second-hand smoke, even if you don't smoke. I don't have it yet, but my parents are heavy smokers. They insist that the health risks are "exaggerated". Why don't you go tell that to my grandma, who actually DOES have COPD and was a heavy smoker until recently? FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 121

Today, my switch to night shifts has coincided nicely with my neighbour buying her twin juvenile delinquent crotch goblins a drum set and a guitar. Now during the daylight hours, when I’m supposed to be asleep, all I can hear is their racket on the other side of the wall, mere feet from my head FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 125

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 961

You deserved it 4 973

Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 386

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 583

You deserved it 2 205

Today, I never know who’s going to have my kids during their dad’s weekend. He drops them off with just anyone as he goes partying, but calls the cops if I pick them up early. Last week they were with his girlfriend’s brother; before that it was her uncle, and before that her cousin. All total strangers to the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 71