Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 09:01 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 922

You deserved it 4 687

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 6 316

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 063

You deserved it 3 580

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 9 476

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 496

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 537

By Kat - 08/11/2008 07:51 - France

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 422

You deserved it 5 229

Gassed

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went clubbing. A girl I was dancing with leaned in with a disgusted expression and said, "God, it stinks! Someone keeps farting… I swear they've got IBS." It was me. I have IBS. I was farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 482

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 6 776

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 303

Check her out

By minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 806

You deserved it 6 906

jqmalang 17

Monday 28 September 2015 17:50

HAHAHAHA that was actually a great one from her! She saved you (:

curlytop101 23

Monday 28 September 2015 17:54

On the bright side, at least they know it wasn't actually you who did it

Comments

MossyMegaMan 20

Monday 28 September 2015 22:18

If you fart loud you gotta be proud.

sallen14 8

Monday 28 September 2015 22:49

How is this an fml? I'd say that and my BF would laugh and probably make a joke about mine as well. Lighten up OP.

oliviadanjou99 15

Monday 28 September 2015 22:54

That's nothing bad at all, she was just joking and saved your ass in the end.

redneck_wolf 19

Monday 28 September 2015 23:31

"Believe me Donkey, if it was me.... You'd be dead"

butterbunny 15

Tuesday 29 September 2015 0:51

*slowly claps*

Witchylady 17

Tuesday 29 September 2015 0:58

Well at least she got you off the hook

OMFML 15

Tuesday 29 September 2015 1:26

It's a joke don't worry :)

Chloe555_fml 27

Tuesday 29 September 2015 2:40

Harboring weapons of ASS destruction, eh!? *tap dances out*

NH_Freelancer 19

Wednesday 30 September 2015 0:00

"face palm"

DongPiece47 13

Tuesday 29 September 2015 4:51

Are you Shrek?

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 29 September 2015 5:40

She's a KEEPER !!!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 3 960

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 886

You deserved it 24 109

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 951

You deserved it 8 997

Today, my son was expelled from school for bullying. The event in question took place off campus, during spring break, and was a friendly scuff. The iPhone video they used as evidence clearly showed the other boy laughing his head off and both of them sharing a coke afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 888

You deserved it 450

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 008

You deserved it 7 932

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 506

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 220