Health: Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 2 928

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 315

You deserved it 2 720

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 5 294

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 4 662

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 289

You deserved it 9 085

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 98

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 322

You deserved it 5 779

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 986

You deserved it 30 600

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 927

You deserved it 3 568

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 3 495

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 262

You deserved it 914

Next

Top comments

mjprox 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 16:09

ouch.

Chelsea_Grin_10 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 16:30

you shud of kept it as a pet n named it cuddles :D

Comments

GoKickRocks 1

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:14

Sooo... did you two work it out?

OneLastWishForU 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:37

Dude that Sucks, Best thing you could do is drop the trash and run away like a litte bitch lol.

tamie306 5

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:38

raccoons are cuddley when they're dead...

Wandering_Witch 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:48

That reminds me of Family Guy

zackkmann21 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:52

hahahahahaha

blastvortex 3

Saturday 18 September 2010 19:53

Man, this kinda makes me wish you could domesticate a coon. I'd probably name him "Shade" or something. It's too bad I can't legally own a coon in my state. It might be cool to have a coon for a pet.

cartoonhead 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 2:49

I found this quite hilarious, even though I'm black myself :D

jonny2x4 0

Monday 20 September 2010 5:37

#60 that is just so wrong on so many levels.

GLOCKMAMA 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 13:09

U can domesticate a coon. I have 1 & she's awesome. However, my state allows it.

BoyBeyond 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 22:15

I would of screamed and ran like a bitch inside my house. Yea and im a guy... -__________-

stronghand0331 17

Sunday 19 September 2010 3:28

amen sister

bluekiwi_fml 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 22:27

Rolf!!!!

bluekiwi_fml 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 22:28

*rofl*

bluekiwi_fml 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 22:30

rofl^^^*****

bluekiwi_fml 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 22:37

rofl

WickedWendigoX 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 8:13

rolfcopter!

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Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

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I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 538

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 3 149

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I agree, your life sucks 67 784

You deserved it 24 045

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I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 353

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I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 87

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I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 572

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I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 350