Animals: Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful...

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 631

You deserved it 8 427

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Same thing different taste

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 5 982

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 17:41 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 433

You deserved it 10 078

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 405

You deserved it 22 962

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 127

You deserved it 394

Poor little guy

By CatLady - 09/06/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 6 048

By DoseyGit - 24/01/2017 08:00

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 076

You deserved it 2 954

Book it!

By Kiera Ayala - 08/06/2019 12:00

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 321

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 00:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 008

You deserved it 3 650

Precision strike

By Zodiacfall - 27/10/2019 02:00

Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 238

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 406

You deserved it 761

dolphincheddar 10

Friday 13 May 2011 19:06

some people don't like it when u spit on their pussy

Jayymz24 0

Friday 13 May 2011 19:00

look at it this way. at least your teeth are clean, your cats head is clean, and your walls are minty fresh :D

Comments

Got_any_grapes1 4

Saturday 14 May 2011 6:15

to the windows to the walls...

shugdog 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 7:14

smart cat you got there.

fadingaway 17

Saturday 14 May 2011 8:06

That past tense of spit is spat.

jinxjem 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 22:52

Way to stick it to em, grammar Nazi! Keep fighting the good fight!

AunteyN 4

Saturday 14 May 2011 11:19

poor cat...

jinxjem 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 21:48

*glares at cat* sounds like something mine would do. Don't give him any ideas!

phoenix3032 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 22:11

not an fml

macskapingvin 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 1:12

I don't think the cat "decided" it would be a good time so much as it decided it was going to stick its head wherever the **** it liked, and didn't give a **** about your perspective of the timing's auspicity.