Intimacy and Health: Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was...

By annoyed - 22/01/2015 20:23 - United States - Berkeley

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 557

You deserved it 10 200

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Same thing different taste

Good

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 439

You deserved it 38 253

Sad but true

By mcginnismr - 13/05/2016 22:57

Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 267

You deserved it 1 374

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 19 913

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 795

You deserved it 7 273

By assholedad - 21/06/2013 18:05 - United States - Dayton

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 5 113

Real funny

By Lamediseased - 29/09/2016 15:07 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 561

You deserved it 773

By anonymous - 04/07/2012 14:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 184

You deserved it 34 787

Nice to know

By LyricalTragedy - 16/12/2016 00:08

Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 107

You deserved it 743

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 337

You deserved it 5 294

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 444

AirBusDriver 23

Friday 23 January 2015 5:45

Clap clap clap... maybe next time you ought to just FAP FAP FAP.

giantsfan2010 23

Friday 23 January 2015 5:45

Don't be silly, cover your willy!

Comments

dreamful_artist 14

Thursday 12 February 2015 13:36

At least he tried to lighten the mood!

summergurl16 14

Saturday 26 March 2016 13:59

Shoulda kept your legs closed until you found out what he had first

JCal585 8

Sunday 18 September 2016 21:26

Oh take an antibiotic and you'll be fine.

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 29 April 2018 13:07

Do you always tell your dad what conditions you have going on in your private parts? That seems like something you could keep to yourself...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 643

You deserved it 390

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

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The Top

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 837

You deserved it 3 062

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 491

You deserved it 2 275

Today, 4 weeks after I told my housemate I was moving out, she told me she expects me to continue paying rent beyond when I leave, despite giving her plenty of notice. Now I'm dealing with lawyers and it's more drama than I can handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 964

You deserved it 373

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 646

You deserved it 4 182

Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 195

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

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You deserved it 3 722