Health: Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally...

By Stan - 29/08/2011 21:19 - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 744

You deserved it 9 606

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Same thing different taste

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 224

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 294

You deserved it 5 757

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 548

You deserved it 48 206

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 803

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 334

You deserved it 5 168

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 279

You deserved it 3 559

By cheerymama - 23/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 951

You deserved it 26 148

Power move

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 17:00

Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 170

Haganbottom234 8

Monday 29 August 2011 23:53

You deserve it, for doing jazz aerobics.

blumsden 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:55

I'd say I beat my kid, before I admitted to doing jazz aerobics...

Comments

datoismyname 22

Monday 29 August 2011 23:57

I don't know what's more pathetic. You kicking your daughter in the face or you doing jazz aerobics and your a dude. Sick bro. Just sick

unluckiestperson_fml 14

Monday 29 August 2011 23:57

What kind of man does jazz aerobics?!

Haganbottom234 8

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:00

One that's living a lie.

muhilrashid 4

Monday 29 August 2011 23:57

I am pretty sure you didnt mean it ..... Or did you ?

dadof2 4

Monday 29 August 2011 23:57

jazz aerobics ha be lucky she doesnt divorce you

shelbyyyy11 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:59

men do jazz aerobics? haha oh wait yeah real men don't....

imthatguythatdid 0

Monday 29 August 2011 23:59

Ive never even heard of jazz aerobics

Squirrelx 5

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:00

Jazz aerobics? That's fun.

isaac713 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:00

u horrible person !

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:01

At least you didn't plank her.

captainbj2 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:01

Wow...all the people who say he deserves it for doing jazz aerobics....bet he is in better shape than any of you and could whip your butts....

Haganbottom234 8

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:06

Say that with a strait face while he jazzercises in front of you in purple leg warmers.

brobbenb 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 0:24

He may be able to... He took his three year old daughter out with one kick I'm afraid

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 47

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 530

You deserved it 6 310

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 851

You deserved it 3 829

Today, I was on FaceTime with my sister. She remarked that my living room was a mess, and that she didn’t know how I kept a man with a place like that. I retorted, “He’s not with me for how well I can clean, when I can polish his knob like a marble floor!” I had no idea my dad was off camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 1 700

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 911

You deserved it 4 315

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 5 530

Same thing different taste

Fight Club Penguin

Sorry sweetie

Power move

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