Miscellaneous: Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober...

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By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 003

You deserved it 24 008

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 159

You deserved it 3 489

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 582

You deserved it 4 622

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 125

You deserved it 10 278

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 635

You deserved it 34 453

By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 994

You deserved it 4 138

Adding insult to injury

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 4 072

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 153

You deserved it 53 607

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 01:10 - United States

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 377

You deserved it 2 586

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 57 218

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 190

sparda4355 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:51

People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!

Dogmaw 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:14

If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.

Comments

I2OI3 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:49

You got drunk on a Sunday night?? YDI

sparda4355 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:51

DONTbEMO 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:52

Who doesnt get drunk on a sunday night?!?! FY Friends.. much sympathy goes out to you

musigreg 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:09

agree with 6,

ivdrscg 2

Monday 18 May 2009 17:11

my roommates always drew on me strategically so that i couldn't see it. when i had class one morning i looked in the mirror and washed off whatever was on my face and checked everywhere else and thought i was safe... until i raised my arm in class and someone told me that right on the underside of my arm where i cannot see without a mirror was written "PARTYY!! =)"

ElDiablo_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:15

At least you were sober.......

Yeoman 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:32

#16 is right, DUIs are always bad news bears.

Kyraniums 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:33

It obviously sucks, but if you were really drunk, you couldn't have sobered up in a few hours. Did the cop test you? XD

geek_in_the_pink 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:33

soo... what did it say? :)

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 17:34

Nice, so you had a **** farm on your face with stuff like "I love ****" and "penis goes here" all over it. I'm betting he gave you a warning, then proceeded to call in to dispatch and have a good laugh at your expense.