Intimacy: Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating...

By Anonymous - 25/06/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 968

You deserved it 6 544

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Same thing different taste

Fact of scratching

By Anonymous - 24/01/2020 14:00

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 307

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 120

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 342

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 2 893

By ticked - 06/10/2009 13:01 - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 557

You deserved it 47 992

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 17:38 - Slovenia - Ruse

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 617

You deserved it 3 536

By Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 284

You deserved it 6 942

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 556

You deserved it 80 739

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 3 610

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 25 June 2010 9:23

lawl. pubechip.

mama2b3 20

Friday 25 June 2010 9:23

hahahaha u ate ur fathers ball hair!!

Comments

liard 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 10:27

hahahaha!

sunshine_roovers 2

Saturday 26 June 2010 15:40

LMFAO 69, oh hahaha that would be nasty thoo .. but that was funny :)

nnnnas 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 18:59

ewwwww!!

hellokeroppi 5

Saturday 26 June 2010 20:45

pig

2igutierrez31 2

Sunday 27 June 2010 3:56

tht sucks op must have been flossing nd eating doritos at the same time lmbo

prod324 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 7:37

omg ewww holy shit thts so grimey

idkwhatusername 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 8:23

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I think I just peed myself!!

therearenonames 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 8:43

OH MAN!!!! that literally made me laugh out loud.

BadKitty13 28

Sunday 27 June 2010 19:31

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ! THAT'S JUST PLAIN WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS AND PRETTY FRIGGIN GROSS ! Don't ever eat snax with him again.

supershaw 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 23:00

you might as well suck it now

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 533

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

The Top

Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 2 388

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 899

You deserved it 3 562

Today, my 16 year-old nephew gave me advice on how to get laid. At age 30, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 313

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 194

You deserved it 50 719

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the middle of great sex when he suddenly called out his ex's name. Just before I decided to yell at him and throw him out of my room, I realised he performed better when he yelled her name. So, I let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 685

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 205

You deserved it 5 152

Same thing different taste

Fact of scratching

Eye bleach

Mortifying

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