Love: Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my... - FML

By Amberain - 16/08/2012 15:16 - United Kingdom - Widnes

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 337

You deserved it 7 080

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 5 743

By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 565

You deserved it 29 191

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 430

You deserved it 1 416

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 688

You deserved it 9 296

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

By :(((( - 27/04/2011 06:54

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 200

You deserved it 7 101

By Emily - 05/12/2012 17:55 - United States - Boston

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 710

You deserved it 4 343

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 8 912

Next

Top comments

4rmMiami 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 18:59

May the force be with you

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 16 August 2012 19:00

The horniness is strong with this one.

Comments

Alexion_Danger 0

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:15

I think it's kind if funny

laurenlovesjb 20

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:15

Or he could have said, "Amber, your boyfriend I am!"

PandaSpots 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:17

I am in love with your boyfriend.

aqua8992 11

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:21

Actually this is adorable :)

purplebumblebee 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:23

That didn't give you an ******? That's unnatural.

PrettyAwesome76 8

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:25

I think that's cute and funny your boyfriends I awesome

andria907 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:28

I think that's cute

jordan_fan28 1

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:34

Nothing embarrassing about that.

LittleGreenPaola 23

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:41

That's so AWESOME! Marry him!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 332

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, at work, one of my 6 year-old students, who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me, "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said, "Your arms are hairy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 428

You deserved it 4 388

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 93

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 184

You deserved it 3 515

Today, my wife has been using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse for absolutely everything. Spills a milkshake in bed at one in the morning? Pregnancy hormones! Cries about a hole in her sock? Pregnancy hormones! Gets caught fucking her coworker? Pregnancy hormones! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 240

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 393

You deserved it 10 919

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 577

You deserved it 26 624