Miscellaneous: Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been...

By bottombarrel - 28/10/2014 14:07 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 029

You deserved it 4 346

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Same thing different taste

By lonelygirl - 09/04/2013 04:59 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 312

You deserved it 5 663

Castaway

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 16:00

Today, I felt so affection-deprived that I gave myself pep talks in order to feel less lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 144

Desperation

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 21:59

Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 395

By nyu - 25/01/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 117

You deserved it 24 471

By newkid - 13/09/2016 19:06

Today, I was so lonely, I dragged out a conversation with a lady who called to get me to make an appointment to give blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 892

You deserved it 1 342

By peepeepants - 18/08/2009 12:35 - Canada

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 597

You deserved it 17 435

Forever alone

By FriutlessApple - 11/10/2013 15:18 - United Kingdom

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 561

You deserved it 11 115

Hobbitgate

By hobbit - 22/05/2013 17:40 - United States - Winthrop

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 574

You deserved it 14 006

By twinkletoes - 17/09/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 113

You deserved it 2 576

By lonelynessinCA - 14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 019

You deserved it 9 785

drayloon 50

Tuesday 28 October 2014 18:05

Have a conversation with them, maybe you can make a friend. Can't hurt to try

EvilTurtle 35

Tuesday 28 October 2014 18:05

You've got a friend in me

Comments

jeanyrios 10

Tuesday 28 October 2014 22:20

I understand. I'd like to say that I have been there but the reality is that I am still there.

chrisxja 8

Tuesday 28 October 2014 22:33

We can all be your friends!

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 28 October 2014 22:41

Hell... we are all friends here on FML. Some just may be plain bat shit crazy but those are the ones that create the funniest friendship memories.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 28 October 2014 22:55

Don't pretend make a friend... Hey that rhymed....

WasabiMars 21

Tuesday 28 October 2014 22:57

I'll be your friend OP. :)

rayman173 2

Tuesday 28 October 2014 23:12

That sucks I'm sorry what wrong to make you feel so lonely? I hope your able to find friends soon a life without them is miserable.

tongueblisters 1

Tuesday 28 October 2014 23:26

i was so excited to see that you were in OHIO cause i moved to OHIO and don't have any friends here either. let's be friends please

interesting33 36

Wednesday 29 October 2014 0:16

Hey try 7 cups of tea - it's a website :) for people who want to chat to someone Take care OP. there's also Arches

interesting33 36

Wednesday 29 October 2014 0:19

Sorry scrap the arches bit but try campaign to end loneliness

iAisu 7

Wednesday 29 October 2014 3:19

Strike a conversation OP! You'll have friends in no time. ^^

WattledParsley 11

Wednesday 29 October 2014 3:27

Well, it sounds like you nailed it.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 567

You deserved it 205

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 479

You deserved it 7 157

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 116

You deserved it 2 300

Today, I had a meeting with HR that resulted in me being dismissed for poor performance. I was confused because up until that point, my line manager had said my performance was exemplary. Turns out it wasn't, and he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be stressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 802

You deserved it 337

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 242

You deserved it 3 449

Today, I got the wristbands in the mail for a music festival in a month and a half. This is my first time going to an event like this and I got overzealous and put it on. Now it's locked tightly on my wrist. I checked online after and it said not to put it on before you arrive at the event. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 692

You deserved it 14 521

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off, so he decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying, "If God doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 235

You deserved it 2 906