Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away...

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 518

You deserved it 3 294

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 462

You deserved it 803

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 5 019

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 342

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 84 250

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 194

You deserved it 9 739

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 773

You deserved it 13 694

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 6 897

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 756

You deserved it 8 003

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 6 539

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 9 December 2016 5:16

Not gonna lie; I'd be pissed if that happened to me, but the way you put it makes it sound so funny.

friedpwnadge 25

Friday 9 December 2016 5:14

Guess you didn't see it cumming until it was too late.

Comments

MandySkittles 18

Friday 9 December 2016 6:42

The next time things are getting intimate just look him in the eyes seductively and say, "you're powered up, get in there!"

ElusiveMee 6

Friday 9 December 2016 6:46

Your name isn't Eileen is it? You know, like the song.

foreverforward 11

Friday 9 December 2016 7:03

I appreciated this so much ?

zeeba_neighba 10

Saturday 10 December 2016 5:45

LOL never thought of that song like that before! You win the internet today!

Ashlilyx19 6

Friday 9 December 2016 6:57

How romantic

corky1992 33

Friday 9 December 2016 7:00

??????? Thats hilarious. Hope it never happens to me though haha

Darmok 0

Friday 9 December 2016 7:23

Looks like it's time for someone to raise their APM

WeirdUS 29

Friday 9 December 2016 7:30

If it makes you feel any better I tickled my ex's foot while I was banging her. the noises she made between laughing and moaning were absolutely hilarious . she wanted to kill me at first but I'm glad she found it as funny as I did.