Miscellaneous: Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of...

By jen - 16/01/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 745

You deserved it 27 988

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Same thing different taste

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 750

You deserved it 42 635

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 928

You deserved it 74 573

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 092

You deserved it 83 406

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 212

You deserved it 19 457

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 450

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 10 355

By Fred - 20/03/2015 01:06 - United States - Kingston

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 5 828

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 59 433

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 573

You deserved it 17 987

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 935

wafflemonger 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 5:35

You're not retarded, but you do need to take yourself maybe a little less seriously. I mean, come on, that's hilarious. I had almost the same thing happen to me, but I just laughed.

potentpotable 0

Monday 16 February 2009 19:09

#4: I thought it was a guy haha. Because it's not that special if it's a girl.

Comments

hwcbj 0

Monday 22 March 2010 4:22

ydi for being a **** and making guys wear a condom for a bj in the first place. you can't suck a real **** ?

xcanox 9

Sunday 13 June 2010 17:11

pwned

clarissajoleen 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:24

wow. Everyone that has comented is stupid and small minded. Just becuase shes givin a bj doesnt make her a ***** or a **** boo ****** whoo shes got a bf and doesntt like the taste of cum. its discusting. i would never give a full bj withoutta condom. iv been with the same guy for two years. i give him head. that make me a slutt?

writergirl69 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 6:47

it's actually unhealthy to perform oral sex without a condom. You can still get STDs, semen isn't great for you, and seriously, you pee out of your dick and just shake it off. Ew.

Jezlovespink 5

Tuesday 7 February 2012 17:39

Umm hellloo wat wud actually make 1 a **** is if she LOVES sucking dick and LOVES sucking any ones an every ones dick....duhh it juz makes her a very clean safe person for using a condom!!!

xNephilim 18

Wednesday 12 December 2012 6:30

STDs: That's why you go to the doctor and get checked. Semen not good for you: BS. It's not specifically good for you, but it's definitely not bad for you... Pee: Get him to clean the ****** before doing it.