Miscellaneous: Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him...

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 15 240

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By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By wtfuraretard - 19/02/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 020

You deserved it 5 209

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

By toiletgirl - 14/12/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 63 838

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 16:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, as I listened to the guy I've been seeing pour his heart out to me, all I could think about was how much I needed to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 730

You deserved it 1 543

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 365

You deserved it 1 522

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 57 469

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 4 525

By Lilly - 02/10/2013 12:43 - United States - Conway

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 681

You deserved it 124 330

simplysarcastics 26

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:08

Well he shouldn't be reading someones messages anyway. I dislike nosy people. Besides everyone has bowel issues every now and then...

torio123 27

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:15

Who were you sending messages to about your bowel movements? O_o

Comments

finch01 18

Thursday 25 April 2013 14:07

my sister and I do that it's rather funny. don't be serious its only poop

Epikouros 31

Thursday 25 April 2013 14:22

Congratulations, you managed to be gross and boring at the same time.

M3DIC4T3 29

Thursday 25 April 2013 15:33

Pretty judgmental for someone with a profile picture of a pig.

K410 18

Thursday 25 April 2013 14:53

Ya **** him for invading your privacy...

juwood 7

Thursday 25 April 2013 15:33

That is why it is very rare that I allow someone use of my phone. You can't trust people not to rifle through pics and texts, which is sad.

DDCA 24

Thursday 25 April 2013 17:12

Who randomly sends that in a text message!? You were texting your Gastroenterologist?

paulbrec 11

Thursday 25 April 2013 18:25

Well, while we are on that topic...Have I told you about my...

IAMVINCE 11

Thursday 25 April 2013 20:59

Don't give your phone to ANYONE

drizzy11 18

Thursday 25 April 2013 21:36

What's a bowel movement?

stevothedevo 25

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:22

Serious?

laurens123 6

Thursday 25 April 2013 23:39

If he did see them, then he is a piece of shit for looking through your phone. You obviously. Can't trust him if he snooped. But odds are he didn't see them.