Love: Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was...

By ddeit - 19/08/2011 02:10 - New Zealand

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 385

You deserved it 3 679

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Same thing different taste

By kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 728

You deserved it 3 059

Leave us alone

By SweethomeAlabama - 01/06/2021 01:00 - Turkey - Konya

Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 189

I wish!

By WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Belconnen

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 452

You deserved it 4 658

By csor027 - 29/09/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 566

You deserved it 4 636

Congratulations, you played yourself!

By JulesRules - 30/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 498

Mondegreens

By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 17:02

Today, I was interviewing a potential candidate for a job opportunity. He started the conversation by saying that he was having a weird day because his friend just got married. To which I responded, “Oh, fun!” He'd actually said that his friend got murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 220

Sir Alan Sugar has spoken

By freckleboy422 - 31/01/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 618

You deserved it 2 826

Wrong place, right time

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 12:00 - Australia - Cairns

Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 177

Impossible

By Anonymous - 06/06/2011 14:18

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 208

You deserved it 4 135

Workplace hell

By insensitive prick - 19/08/2013 19:04 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was at a "Bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 666

You deserved it 9 053

ariannaimelda 7

Friday 19 August 2011 8:46

Hahahaha he's giving you a heads up on what to expect :)

AislinP 13

Friday 19 August 2011 8:55

Congratulations on the engagement! And don't worry, a lot of people are still married and happy.

Comments

ElegantlyLovelyy 6

Monday 22 August 2011 3:20

ow is this even qualified as a fml story...

pickles2b2 4

Monday 14 November 2011 21:43

My parents have been married for 22 years, and they are very happy. Anyways, congrats on your engagement!

TwistedShadow 7

Monday 4 March 2013 20:56

They Say there is Three Rings of marriage... The Engagement ring The Wedding ring and then the suffeRing

UmmOkThen 31

Tuesday 17 June 2014 4:05

I love the disallusioned.

Hamden824 23

Friday 18 March 2016 21:34

Don't listen to her, OP. She is probably one of those people who like drama and gets jealous easily. Good luck with your marriage!

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 26 July 2016 3:25

There are tons of happy married people, don't let him get to you.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 536

The Top

Today, I learned that not only is my husband having an affair with my own mother, but my whole family knew. They were keeping it a secret from me for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 393

You deserved it 376

Today, while trying to be sexy for my fiancé by going to change his background photo to a naughty pic of myself, I found out he's been actively cheating on me. For almost a year, with multiple women. When confronted, he tried telling how hard me finding out was for HIM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 154

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 595

You deserved it 57 289

Today, most of my immediate family do nothing but criticise me for not breastfeeding. My mom even threatened to call CPS for child abuse, no matter how many times I explain I physically don’t produce milk, and formula feeding is literally my only option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 135

Today, and for the past two months, I've been raising a baby goat, whose mother rejected her. I went to visit my mom, and brought my goat with me, as my mom lives on 14 acres of farmland. I went to make her bottle for dinner, and when I came back outside, my mom's truck and my goat were gone. She won't say who she gave her away to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 133

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 894

You deserved it 40 219

Same thing different taste

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