Miscellaneous: Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting....

By ijustwantpizza - 07/01/2015 12:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 633

You deserved it 7 573

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 284

You deserved it 3 662

By Foufinator - 04/10/2009 19:33 - France

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 131

You deserved it 3 561

Tasty

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 717

You deserved it 6 836

The fun never ends

By Yudith - 02/01/2023 03:00 - Canada

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 134

By garlicbread - 26/11/2009 22:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 607

You deserved it 29 936

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 07:52 - United States - Bend

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 6 848

Asshole Design

By thehaystackerine - 01/03/2020 12:00

Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 308

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 274

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 511

You deserved it 800

Pizza party

By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

purpleturtle16 20

Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:46

The Universe is trying to make you stick to your goal! Please call the pizza place and ask for a refund.

llamarrama01 21

Wednesday 7 January 2015 18:46

That must've really bugged you.

Comments

milehigh52 22

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:27

At least you won't cheat on your diet again.

SupernovaEclipse 19

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:28

Sucks to be you

lucyisbae 18

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:37

Oh gosh I can't even that's so gross

JokerJ312 23

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:37

I found a fly in my barbecue wings from dominoes one time.

coppersmith 13

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:39

Is it high on calories?

RageWolf16 31

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:39

It's a sign.

joshi42 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:42

It's sign.

CuteCammy 15

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:42

See!! Don't cheat!

vikky538 28

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:44

did you change your mind to go back to same diet after this?

allisurd 17

Wednesday 7 January 2015 19:48

Well, if that doesn't encourage you to continue dieting, I don't know what will. Good luck!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

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You deserved it 368

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I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 383

You deserved it 1 924

Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 239

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 200

You deserved it 5 582

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 285

You deserved it 3 335

Today, after months of being friendly and flirty with a very close friend, they've started ghosting me and cancelling everything that has been planned. They will only message to moan or ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 161

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 004

You deserved it 33 118