Love: Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me...

By fjafja - 07/03/2009 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 632

You deserved it 13 338

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Same thing different taste

By FMLFMLFMLFML - 29/05/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 206

You deserved it 14 887

By anonymous - 01/02/2009 10:53 - United States

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 208

You deserved it 6 326

By workhoe - 20/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 006

You deserved it 1 760

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 1 365

By sadgf - 29/03/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 911

You deserved it 6 037

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 449

You deserved it 4 515

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 297

You deserved it 2 147

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 183

You deserved it 12 019

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 297

By sad-sexed - 06/09/2010 12:50 - Australia

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 097

You deserved it 55 532

ButtFaceFace 1

Saturday 7 March 2009 18:39

Having sex with strangers is also a great way to get STDs.

rathalosrocker 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 19:16

dont call her a *****, a girl is a ***** for ******* a lot of guys but a man is cool and a playa for ******* lots of girls, which doesnt make sense, just leave her alone

Comments

musical_rina 0

Monday 9 March 2009 5:28

you're not a *****, you're a ****. you weren't getting paid -_- and men are ***** too, and either way you're disgusting if you're just swapping bodily fluids with whoever the hell you want. aaaand, be glad he went through with it, ugly.

maddog_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 16:42

Hahahaha! Nice one!. Next time, shave it and clean it.

BetsySnow 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 0:16

There are some bitter people on this site!

snkybstrd 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 1:04

One night stand? Deserved it

Feel_It 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 17:50

In all seriousness, maybe you need to clean up the back yard. You could have had something er... hanging. :X

jsmith1199 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 4:50

you're probably ass ugly so you're desperate for sex, and you seize the few opportunities that come your way. since your're so ugly he wanted you to turn around so he didnt have to look at your disgusting face, but then he noticed your saggy ass so he had you turn off the lights. good thing he didnt notice your craps infested bush. and #5, if she had any self respect, she wouldnt have even had a one night stand in the first place.

jsmith1199 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 5:02

i love these comments.. now let me help explain this to everyone 1. Yes, she IS a *****. It doesn't matter that she only had one 1 night stand, the fact is that it happened. That's disgusting no matter how many times it happened. 2. It doesn't matter what sex she is. Anyone who has a one night stand is ****** up in several ways. The only difference is, there's more fun words to make fun of a girl, so I only comment when a girl is being a *****. These words include but aren't limited to: *****, ****, ho, and you can add "bag" to the end of any of these to make them sound even better :-D 3. In the extremely rare case that you actually end up with someone, instead of just having one nights stands, you should probably clean up whatever's wrong with you. In this case it seems like everything. I would suggest a bag, but apparently your ass is ****** up too. You're what we call a double bagger.. That's when the guy puts a bag over your head, and then another one over his head in case yours rips. Hopefully I cleared that up for everyone. Stupid *****