Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time,... - FML

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 963

You deserved it 7 658

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Same thing different taste

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 312

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 688

You deserved it 60 146

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 1 235

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 5 456

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 661

You deserved it 11 279

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 146

You deserved it 36 930

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 024

You deserved it 11 617

Small guy

By no luck chuck - 09/10/2021 02:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 907

You deserved it 224

By Ihatemylife - 03/03/2013 12:17 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 6 363

Next

Top comments

graycee7 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 0:59

that is so horrible. Dump her.

rainesan 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 1:46

Well, considering that 90% of nerve endings in the ****** are in the first inch or so of the ****** (especially near the opening) and the g-spot is only about 2 inches in there isn't really a need for a large penis...really a large penis would miss those most sensitive areas

Comments

Huzzah 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:56

I dont see anything wrong with small dicks to be honest.

BoCo_fml 9

Thursday 19 August 2010 5:41

I agree a large penis just hurts. I like it a little on the small side, it feels awesome.

JustAGirl_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 7:04

So how much experience does she have that she's such an expert on penis size? Someone who cares for you wouldn't say that, you deserve better.

themanistheman 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 8:10

i would have slapped the shit out of her.. what a bitch

potentpotable 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 9:29

Chris Brown that bitch!

Rollercoaster_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 10:50

Hahahaha #8!

Rollercoaster_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 10:54

Sure... most of the nerve endings are at the opening...but that doesn't mean that the ladies don't enjoy the feeling of a fully stretched ******... that can sometimes be more pleasurable?

suckit69 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 20:48

dump her ass dude.

lyssypoo 0

Monday 23 February 2009 3:30

That is ****** up. People should really consider thinking before they speak!

hurshanandwala 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 21:46

you look really nice:)

Mexicana243 0

Monday 23 February 2009 3:59

That Sux. D:

uminuscooll 0

Monday 23 February 2009 17:03

It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean!! ;]

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Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 127

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 101

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 890

You deserved it 13 485

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 4 098

Today, once again, my mom chewed me out for, “playing games on the computer all day.” I’m not playing, it’s 3D modeling, and it’s my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 90

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 306

You deserved it 90 316

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 160

You deserved it 37 775