Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house...

By . - 27/02/2012 00:02 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 663

You deserved it 4 589

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By kha - 24/03/2009 10:18 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 303

You deserved it 15 151

By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 956

You deserved it 38 509

Awkward silence

By daughter in law - 08/11/2016 06:05 - United States

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 489

You deserved it 1 524

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 972

By Anonymous - 17/04/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 894

You deserved it 395

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 713

You deserved it 2 361

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 2 688

Letting off steam

By Username - 31/03/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 717

You deserved it 11 212

By daughterinlaw - 18/12/2012 17:09 - United States - La Plata

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 540

You deserved it 4 334

Strawberry surprise

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 17:00

Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 879

LaColombianita 26

Monday 27 February 2012 8:56

Well I guess grandma learned a valuable lesson. Never show up to your house again for a surprise visit.

DontClickOnMe 28

Monday 27 February 2012 8:59

I wonder how long she stayed there for.

Comments

anahlicious 10

Monday 27 February 2012 9:37

Hey on the bright side, she returned her spare key so you don't have to worry about her surprise visits anymore! :)

Isoldael 27

Monday 27 February 2012 9:50

Most of our family has spare keys in case of emergency, in case we lose our own key or just so they can enter if they stop by and we're not home. Of course, they would always ring the doorbell first to see if we're home.

omarzrgz 3

Monday 27 February 2012 9:41

Maybe she got turned on and went to have sex with your grandpa, and when she said she'll call next time it was so you could know she'll be back when she's done?

chellyX92 8

Monday 27 February 2012 15:00

That's kinda disgusting.

SaturnV 25

Monday 27 February 2012 23:47

Nope. Not even close. That someone could extrapolate that scenario from this FML is kind of disturbing.

jokercard2010 0

Monday 27 February 2012 10:38

I fear my mom's gonna end up doing that one of these days, I moved out for a reason, "take a hint mom"

wlddog 14

Monday 27 February 2012 10:41

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I bet Thanksgiving dinner will be ackward.

perdix 29

Monday 27 February 2012 11:06

Good thing Grandma recognized that she forfeited her key privileges and gave her key up right then and there. If you had to go repo your key from her later, Grandpa might get some randy ideas;)

badam_fml 6

Monday 27 February 2012 11:20

That is one polite grandmother :-) - she did not disturb you

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 27 February 2012 11:53

"Today, I went over my granddaughter's house and let myself in with the spare key they'd given me in case of emergency. I heard my granddaughter and her husband being rather loud upstairs. Embarrassed, I left the spare key on the kitchen counter and left again. FML" "YDI"