Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop... - FML

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 028

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 41 146

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 17 354

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 909

You deserved it 60 289

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 619

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 990

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 1 215

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 111 359

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 876

Next

Top comments

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

blackhawk465 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:54

Wow YDI it for being retarded.

bartmasta 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:54

anyone who says YDI for smoking is an elitist **** and should die

msling55 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:54

yeeeah, you deserve it for smoking.

yesmy_love 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:54

so... i don't really understand how this happened... i mean... i dunno about you but i hold ciggiebutts a lot differently than i hold lollipops......... hm.

esklstar 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:56

smoking is BAD for u and people around u and the enviroment YDI!

oh_dee 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:57

Okay, so it wasn't your cigarette...YDI for holding the cigarette for someone and not just putting it out to piss them off and give them ten seconds of their life back =)

twilax101 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:58

@21 so YOURE the person telling that to ALL the fmls. i found you!

darkbrownmascara 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:59

Oh my god, how many of these "putting a cigarette into mouth whilst eating something else" FML's are we going to see? This site is getting repetitive....

Carosello 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:01

:( that's what you get for smoking u_u

GubuntoidOSX 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:04

Like many have already said, YDI for smoking.

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The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 169

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 102

The Top

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 872

You deserved it 29 512

Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 720

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 366

You deserved it 3 125

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 441

You deserved it 2 255

Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 128

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 1 132