Health: Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't...

By Poop - 02/10/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 991

You deserved it 3 215

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Same thing different taste

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 2 711

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 95

By ok cool - 13/10/2015 01:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 153

You deserved it 2 888

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 4 875

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

By FUUUUCK - 11/02/2014 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 454

You deserved it 26 072

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 78

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 3 826

By Alisha - 07/08/2012 18:04 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 2 345

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 144

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 2 October 2009 9:36

Well, Orbit is always there to use afterwards. I'd still like to know where the hell they tested shit particles flying up in a parabolic arc 25 feet into the air though.

null_fml 11

Friday 2 October 2009 9:47

Well, at least your old friend has a reason not to talk to you for years again.

Comments

j_rock1981 0

Friday 2 October 2009 10:52

It's actually 6 feet, but still a win for ur mom and a suck it up buttercup for OP

Intellectualist 0

Friday 2 October 2009 12:14

Mythbuster busted this myth. Good job too, if you have OCD.... don't worry crazies, it's alllll ok :)

bosshaug 0

Friday 2 October 2009 12:37

Ydi for pooping

Jemi9OD 0

Friday 2 October 2009 13:01

we are all 90 - 99% bacteria anyways. this is def not a fml. at least she didn't loudly question if you still wet the bed, THAT would have been an FML.

tallesttacoever 0

Friday 2 October 2009 14:05

This should go on MLIA... You need to lighten up! It was funny!

DSappy 0

Friday 2 October 2009 14:08

HAHAHAHAHA! NO SHIT! That's hilarious! My sister's talking to her boyfriend on webcam right now. Maybe I should go say that to her... Hm... x

capricaz 0

Friday 2 October 2009 14:26

It's embarrassing to hear that when you're talking to a friend. Other than that, there is no reason it's an FML. We have immune systems.

someguy945 0

Friday 2 October 2009 14:54

Big deal, buy a new toothbrush. Oh wait, you mean the FML is that you are embarrassed that your friend knows you poop?

your_face 15

Friday 2 October 2009 14:56

You don't have to be holding your toothbrush while you poo for this to happen... it just has to be in the bathroom. Which is where a lot of people leave their toothbrushes.