Health: Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't...

By Poop - 02/10/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 991

You deserved it 3 215

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Same thing different taste

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 2 711

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 95

By ok cool - 13/10/2015 01:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 153

You deserved it 2 888

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 4 875

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

By FUUUUCK - 11/02/2014 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 454

You deserved it 26 072

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 78

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 3 826

By Alisha - 07/08/2012 18:04 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 2 345

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 144

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 2 October 2009 9:36

Well, Orbit is always there to use afterwards. I'd still like to know where the hell they tested shit particles flying up in a parabolic arc 25 feet into the air though.

null_fml 11

Friday 2 October 2009 9:47

Well, at least your old friend has a reason not to talk to you for years again.

Comments

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 3 October 2009 9:34

Good lord, I was wondering what that was on my toothbrush.

14hatemachine 2

Sunday 4 October 2009 0:26

who has a 25 foot ceiling in their washroom?

gorbagil 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 8:52

Shes pretty dumb if she just saw that on the news

Sanchezman1494 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 20:22

it doesent matter how far particles can fly. there is already a couple million bacteria on you toothbrush and wind can blow poop particles for very long distances. also, mythbisters did an episode about it.

_20jre 0

Monday 5 October 2009 3:34

that's what your immune system is for... hahhahahaha

Aoife 0

Monday 5 October 2009 4:22

Today, I embarrassed my daughter while she was on the phone with a friend by asking her if she flushed the toilet after pooping. She didn't answer. A few hours later, while I was on the phone, she loudly said, "Of course I flushed the toilet, mom, I know you didn't potty train me that thoroughly, but some things are easy to figure out." FML. This. Do this. And thankfully, I have two half bathrooms. The toilet is alone in one, the shower and sink in the other. My toothbrush is safe.

_adrenaline 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:26

FYL bc your mom didn't have the decency to knock...

trusszeb 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 3:28

YDI for taking a crap on your toothbrush.

HunterAlpha1 8

Friday 2 July 2010 19:49

my mom is like this, except it when i'm talking to some pretty girl at some kind of gathering or function, and my mom walks up and starts talking about jesus