Intimacy: Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something...

By benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 015

You deserved it 4 113

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 561

You deserved it 4 081

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 714

You deserved it 35 129

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 4 836

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 3 815

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 866

You deserved it 5 297

By blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 757

You deserved it 2 965

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 289

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 88

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 3 579

LOLYLIF 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:05

I hope to ******* God no one does a comic for this one.

zrjones 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:52

this is oone of the nastiest FMLs ever

Comments

lem0n_fml 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:08

I'm afraid to ever poop again.

Amysbodybetrayal 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:30

Oh good, I'm not the only one! :-x This FML freaked me outtt!

WiseDraco 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:08

OH!!! SO GROSS!!! I AM SO SORRY!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

f_your_1ife 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:18

I threw up a little bit.

turtlebun777 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:18

I am soooo sorry!!!!!

OESgirl 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:22

That sucks...I hope they're nothing like the animal tapeworms we see @ the vet clinic - those you have to get 2 deworms 3 wks apart: to kill the live ones w/ the first round and to kill the eggs w/ the 2nd round. Good luck w/ that.

sar86 1

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:24

That's ******* disgusting!!!!!!!!!!

PlasmaWafflez 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:28

YDI for eating uncooked food, but FYL.

Brittface 6

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:29

Ugh! that's so ******* gross! if that happened to me I wld puke

Apoxxx 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:31

That is So ******* vile, I almost vomited.

DeathShad0 1

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:32

Sounds like something I heard on discovery channel... Something about my teacher in the same instance. Only you switched it up a little. YDI for using the term defecating.