Intimacy: Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something...

By benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 015

You deserved it 4 113

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Same thing different taste

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 561

You deserved it 4 081

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 714

You deserved it 35 129

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 4 836

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 3 815

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 866

You deserved it 5 297

By blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 757

You deserved it 2 965

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 289

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 88

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 3 579

LOLYLIF 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:05

I hope to ******* God no one does a comic for this one.

zrjones 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:52

this is oone of the nastiest FMLs ever

Comments

Zombie_Love 0

Monday 21 September 2009 22:06

This story .....IS OVER NINE-THOUSAND!!!!!

xkat356 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 4:46

I find it funny how you realized you had a tapeworm 'three feet later'. Did you think that was shit you were pulling out before?

Artanias 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 12:57

Holy ******* shit, at first i didn't realise what this actually was, so i googled it a bit and now feel like this is the true embodiment of what an FML is like, jesus ******* christ thats so unbelievably disgusting.

crayfish 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 2:43

Ya, I was kind of confused and kind of disturbed that this was in the intimacy section. Maybe he's grown attached to the worm? Although I guess it doesn't necessarily have to be about sex.

gutzlikeapig 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 4:08

Sir, you are freakin gross.

che_williams 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 13:20

ok so he pulled out a few inches of it and then what? just let it crawl back fully up his anus?

MegaFun_fml 6

Wednesday 30 September 2009 17:53

Damn, I can totally imagine your reaction at the time. you: *pulls stuff) wow this is a long piece of shit. *3 feet later* you: oh, shit, this is a worm. I don't know what happens after that, but anyway FML. Thanks to this though, I'm paranoid of ******** now.

skatexas22 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 3:33

what the hell? go to a ******* hospital! gross...

Stick523 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 8:11

why is this in the intimacy section there is absolutly nothing intimate about that what so-ever in anyway

Ohnothingreally 0

Monday 5 October 2009 2:10

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina) ----- I wonder why this is under intimacy? That sucks though. FYL indeed.