Alcohol and ACAB: Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon...

By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 7 026

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 335

You deserved it 2 191

Joe Smooth move

By Karel - 24/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 345

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 9 308

Head, meet wall

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 20:00

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 371

Appropriate force

By Peppered and Zapped - 07/04/2020 05:00

Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 209

By Nick - 27/11/2009 10:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 017

You deserved it 28 927

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

By justplaindumb - 04/08/2016 00:48 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 036

You deserved it 16 205

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 946

You deserved it 5 243

Blackout

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 22:00

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 615

sydneybeau 7

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

sounds like a blast.

Rico_Mal1116 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:49

Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?

Comments

yanster97 0

Monday 15 August 2011 10:28

Hehe

Kurtykat 2

Monday 15 August 2011 10:34

You were that wasted? Who are you... Charlie Sheen?!

XxHoPPoxX 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:56

well obviously no because he wasn't winning

fuckmrsoftee 0

Monday 15 August 2011 10:57

chocolate, you and fate dont have much to say to each other now do they. no, i bet they dont. unless the word fail is subtly screamed here.

mastersmurf 13

Monday 15 August 2011 11:30

Cops have brilliant aim, they manage to hit the one person who is not rioting. /sarcasm

XI3NC3 2

Monday 15 August 2011 11:35

Derry or London ? Belfast ?

ImDB8 0

Monday 15 August 2011 12:06

Are you from Britain?

janix_96 0

Monday 26 December 2011 1:41

actually, water cannons are used a lot in northern Ireland riots, so #55 is right to ask if op's from Belfast or Derry. maybe you should get your facts straight before you bitch at people.

tj4234 35

Monday 15 August 2011 13:00

maybe it wasn't a watercannon. Maybe it was blastoise. You were hung over enough not to spot a riot afterall...

RyNo24 4

Monday 15 August 2011 14:05

UK?

smashgrab 0

Monday 15 August 2011 16:07

1. How hung over do you have to be to not notice a riot, big or small? 2. Why would they use water cannons on a 'small' riot? 3. Where are you from that any of this would be happening? *before the idiots start bitching, the mobile site on my BB doesn't give all the information that others get.

Ranimal 12

Monday 15 August 2011 16:34

Water Cannons were NOT used during the recent UK riots.

meringuey 2

Tuesday 16 August 2011 0:39

Technically, no, 'water cannons' were not used, but there is plenty of news footage of police using high-pressure water jets to knock rioters aside. OP is probably just slightly off with the terminology.