Intimacy: Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents...

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 643

You deserved it 5 707

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Same thing different taste

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 391

You deserved it 3 801

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 9 699

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 2 903

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 249

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 984

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 104

You deserved it 3 956

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 422

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 405

You deserved it 43 187

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 704

You deserved it 68 953

aback 4

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:46

Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"

TheCookieCrumb 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

Just in time for the big finale!

Comments

cocky 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:02

your mom sound sexy? I'll give you $5 for a recording.. not really. buhahaha.

JustSoLost 8

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:04

Ew. Thats just so gross. i wouild never want to hear my parents have sex. EWWWW . nasty.

BleedingAssassin 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:06

hey, did u ever stop to think that maybe ur mom gave dad a ******* before kissing you goodnight? well >.> now u did.

qazqwer313 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 4:28

That would be oh so nasty especially if she lied and said the shiny stu

ObamaKitttyy 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:08

ewww.

UnluckyAzn 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:10

This probably would become a repressed childhood memory.

Atoastyjew 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:13

I sadly also relate to this FML... But to OP that sucks

aback 4

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:15

So learn to beat off real loud. First time, scream your dog's name. But not after that, because they'll record it.

Ballafo 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:17

Paramore is a girlyass band with no skill. And their songs are three minutes your just some emo loser who won't know real rock(AC/DC, lynyrd skynyrd, metallica, the who, guns n roses,) if it smacked you in the face.

Darth_Taco 14

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:19

I still win! When I was 11 I walked in on my mom and step-dad about to have sex on my bed! I slept just as comfortably in that bed that night. Mostly because I had a feeling I would be doing something similar in the future :D. (I beat it a few months ago >:D!) Still, I'm so sorry xD. Next time stand outside their door and cheer for them after they finish. Show your dad you're proud of him for lasting so long :D! Then ask if you're getting a new little brother or sister xD.