Animals: Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding...

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 544

You deserved it 27 324

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Same thing different taste

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 178

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 278

Stuck in the middle

By Mark - 20/03/2017 08:00 - United States - Sparks

Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 697

You deserved it 568

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 108

You deserved it 4 973

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 575

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

Revenge will be sweet

By Kitty at my foot - 20/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 436

yrkamurka 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:33

Flying pussy

dinosaurfeces 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:34

Sounds like a "cat"astrophe.

Comments

4rmMiami 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:44

Today when I was walking to my next class I notice a teacher staring at me, all the sudden he takes a bite of his donut seductively and smiles at me omg how horrible, I see him around quite often. FML

Damn_Hippster 11

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:44

This is what happens when it rains cats...and I guess dogs as well.

DaniPandi 22

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:45

Pussy has claws ;o

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:51

Pussy with teeth that bites off penis

TokinUp 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:16

I don't wanna live on this planet anymore...

Super_Jill_ 1

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:45

My kitten is evil too, you can't trust most cats.

iAmPaul 49

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:45

17 - that would be disadvantageous for OP if they didn't get their cat de-clawed.

AdrianEC 15

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:52

Looks like you got quite the shock when you heard the, uh... static on your television, OP. That sounded better in my head.

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:53

YOU were scared? Think of the flying puss. If I was thrown through the air, my claws would be extended too! Hope you find a surprise pussy tootsie in your bed tonight!