Miscellaneous: Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy...

By welp - 28/10/2015 04:11 - United States - Belton

Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 3 619

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Same thing different taste

Masterchef

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 161

Give me a break

By anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 195

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 850

You deserved it 5 604

Asshole Design

By thehaystackerine - 01/03/2020 12:00

Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 308

By Anon - 07/11/2009 00:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 843

You deserved it 6 097

By 3.14 - 08/02/2012 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 191

You deserved it 2 085

By j0j0 - 15/01/2009 16:00 - France

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 762

You deserved it 3 856

By sunshine19217 - 18/01/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 8 706

By StillBurning - 19/08/2017 01:30

Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 732

You deserved it 678

By firecrotch - 04/06/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 806

You deserved it 35 444

KuronoEru 26

Wednesday 28 October 2015 14:27

Order a pizza, write the instructions as "make a smiley face with pepperoni" good luck!

HarshD9619 34

Wednesday 28 October 2015 14:26

Hang in there OP, things will be better. And I always see reruns of my favorite TV series to cheer myself up, you can do the same maybe!

Comments

kjlancaster 21

Wednesday 28 October 2015 21:23

maybe its a sign you should find a friend to talk to. sorry op

mags_95 11

Wednesday 28 October 2015 21:42

Hope you're feeling happy soon enough, chin up!

Ilmoran 20

Wednesday 28 October 2015 21:59

Obviously you're subconsciously lashing out against symbols of happiness.

TheLynx_fml 20

Wednesday 28 October 2015 22:19

This is so sad it's almost funny... Almost

RainbowLibster 17

Wednesday 28 October 2015 22:51

more4me 27

Wednesday 28 October 2015 23:26

I am way too familiar with those days! Hang in there, OP. Things will get better.

Richard6036 13

Thursday 29 October 2015 1:20

450f• for 15 minutes

hiddenfromsight 7

Thursday 29 October 2015 1:30

Thats the world telling you your life actualy sucks..

Sphanz 17

Thursday 29 October 2015 3:29

Hopefully that's not a metaphor...

JHamm2121 15

Thursday 29 October 2015 5:24

Not an fml. YDI for burning the pizza.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 6 604

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 013

You deserved it 22 550

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 9 090

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 2 114

Today, on this edition of me getting pimples in painful or uncomfortable places, I got a huge one on the side of my neck. I never thought that simply turning my head would be such a horrendously painful task. Also, the afflicted area of my neck suddenly itches like crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 111

Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 136

You deserved it 193

Today, I asked the girl who has a crush on me if she was autistic. She replied without hesitation, "I can be whatever you want me to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 1 095

Same thing different taste

Masterchef

Give me a break

Asshole Design

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