Intimacy: Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are...

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 064

You deserved it 59 340

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 391

You deserved it 6 349

Noob

By lameows - 04/04/2015 01:57 - United States

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 518

You deserved it 4 401

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 795

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 276

You deserved it 6 969

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 11 369

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 356

You deserved it 14 494

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 320

You deserved it 38 283

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 520

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 416

jimmyrules 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:06

Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.

immja 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:08

@2 that may have been the problem.. hah

Comments

v_garcia3 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:13

11: Lmao I love that movie...actually the girl was a freak well the guy would just freak out!!!

oarisimo 4

Friday 13 August 2010 9:14

then just try again next time. it's not the end of the world...

omgjoe 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:16

go watch some **** then try again

Skorpack 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:16

Fail

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Friday 13 August 2010 9:17

YDI for trying to fornicate. YDI for failing at fornicating. YDI for thinking that fornication is in any way difficult; it's one of the easiest, most natural acts in the world. Just follow your instincts. You'll still DI for fornicating, but at least you'll be doing it right. YDI for trying to fornicate in a basement.

jokker_fml 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:33

you sir, are a failtroll go back to 4chan and take better notes

Mirorbo 26

Friday 13 August 2010 9:39

Rules 1 and 2, darling!~

Lozza111 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:53

ydi for saying fornicating

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Friday 13 August 2010 10:26

jokker, if I amuse myself and get someone (IE: you) to flame me, then I have succeeded in my quest. And I was trolling usenet groups before 4chan's creater was out of middle school. Mirorbo: rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids. Lozza111: the word "fornicate" and its many variations make me giggle. Tee hee.