Intimacy: Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained...

By Username - 29/10/2010 23:15 - France

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 684

You deserved it 5 900

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Same thing different taste

By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 212

You deserved it 5 855

Highly inappropriate

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 048

You deserved it 3 751

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 4 789

Pleased to meet you

By Cookie Monster nom nom - 17/05/2021 15:01 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 193

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 480

You deserved it 29 019

Attention!

By choker - 14/03/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 878

You deserved it 8 304

Picture perfect

By anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 878

You deserved it 5 399

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 3 063

Double entendre

By mel - 11/05/2012 21:23 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 022

You deserved it 3 159

By hungry - 12/02/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 677

You deserved it 3 509

XsianinvasionX 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:43

I love ur dad I wish mine was that cool

beguile 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:42

lol. that sucks.

Comments

happy_dino 6

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:51

Swallows?

brennboo 3

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:53

Yes. Swallows.

PplMakeMistakes 2

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:51

yes!! swallows ! ahahaahahahaa

yourlifesfucked 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 6:15

african or european?

Raw_Gamer 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 7:50

I though it was the bird at first too lol

dickster 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 7:57

She's French. Elle ne sais pas "swallows".

Zebidee 8

Saturday 30 October 2010 11:27

A swallow carrying a coconut?!

ego1 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:55

Lmao the question is how does daddy know this :/

Southern_Grown 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 9:09

haha right?!

valri3 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:56

oooooo you bad. I bet you also suck and spit right?

steelersfan78 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:24

Spitters are quitters.

lazyfoo92 4

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:56

damn if yr dad said that I'm sorry for you

ericrod 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:09

that's awesome!

boricuabebe 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:11

lmao

tessybearbear 4

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:19

And how does your DAD know this?!

Ieatdraxxus 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:20

Hardly a fml, more like a funny story.

Fortuitous 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:29

One suggestion: hot dog eating competition!

maryjaneslover7 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:39

InDenial 6

Sunday 31 October 2010 10:56

Two words = Epic fail.

Keywords

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