Miscellaneous: Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished... - FML

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Spicy

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 618

You deserved it 1 755

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Same thing different taste

By the unfortunate man - 19/07/2013 04:29 - United States - Salisbury

Spicy

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 314

You deserved it 3 154

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 743

You deserved it 3 761

By wurtabang - 09/02/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 460

You deserved it 3 108

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 599

You deserved it 4 048

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 382

You deserved it 757

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 420

You deserved it 3 605

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

By iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 353

You deserved it 7 770

Next

Top comments

WCARlover 34

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:14

I'm so glad us girls just have stalls

Lorenzo1102 21

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:14

Taking "pee on him to show dominance" literally

Comments

Vishwakarma 8

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:26

Marking his territory? ;)

Darkness_Hate 29

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:46

One of the reason I don't like using urinals (I prefer the stalls) you always have some people who want to compare their penises or are not aware that you're next to them.

dakotaabriannee 14

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:46

So gross

pjsr 32

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:56

"It's Raining Men", No, it's a man raining, er...sprinkling

Dakang 3

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:56

Shake it off, man!

Enslaved 36

Saturday 26 September 2015 16:10

You shake it to the east Shake it to the west Shake it to the one That-a you love the best

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 26 September 2015 17:01

sigh, enslaved. now I've got that song in my head with the real lyrics and it's not a good mental picture.

trucker2 33

Saturday 26 September 2015 16:23

Nice piece you got there Mr. I gotta little wet. I'll hose you later. Lol

Dexter83_fml 17

Saturday 26 September 2015 17:43

That sucks

khorstmye 15

Saturday 26 September 2015 18:22

More than one shake and you are just playing with it

thatonetribute 31

Saturday 26 September 2015 18:25

Urinals make me forever pity the guys...I'm sorry, guys.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 961

You deserved it 881

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 239

You deserved it 1 155

Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 270

You deserved it 5 433

Today, as a nursing assistant, I often hear that the biggest thing people get from their job is satisfaction of helping others get better. Biggest thing I've gotten out of it? Shingles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 656

You deserved it 465

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I agree, your life sucks 3 005

You deserved it 355

Today, I was telling my fiancée about my Hashimoto's symptoms when my MIL to-be said, "You must be drinking too much alcohol. My aunt had a goiter and it only swelled when she drank, usually bourbon or beer." She then walked out of the room, perfectly content with her "diagnosis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 157