Money: Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for... - FML

By greenhide8 - 28/05/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 014

You deserved it 46 119

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Same thing different taste

By winner winner chicken dinner - 26/09/2018 05:00

Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 759

You deserved it 632

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 08:21 - United States - Pomona

Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 924

You deserved it 1 452

Bingo is serious business

By earlytermination - 06/09/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 2 461

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 14:20 - United Kingdom - Bishops Stortford

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 8 898

Dopamine rush

By thiscantbereal00 - 07/01/2022 14:02

Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 3 692

By goodbye sweet internet - 06/07/2013 18:23 - Greece - Athens

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 377

You deserved it 50 203

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 385

You deserved it 6 088

By aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 444

You deserved it 9 200

Wanker

By sourgirl101 - 01/03/2023 06:00

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 553

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 811

You deserved it 12 748

Next

Top comments

AScic1 3

Saturday 28 May 2011 11:53

You're a swearing, iPhone using elderly person?

tpike1296 11

Saturday 28 May 2011 11:58

Well, you'll need a holy **** to feel better after this.

Comments

CEG3 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:37

Tourettes Guy moment xD

kei1108 13

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:40

You probably shouldn't talk like that. Especially in public. it's rude. YDI. but that does suck though. so FYL too!

lvgurlie89 6

Saturday 28 May 2011 19:22

The older you get, the more money you have to put in the swear jar. If you were a kid it would've only cost you 25¢.

kbball95 7

Saturday 28 May 2011 19:31

shouldn't you have yelled bingo instead? lol

CheerCraazy 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 20:38

**** is not holy! :)

mustangs85 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 21:03

thats what you get for playing bingo..

slcpunk588 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 21:58

you must've sounded like the turrets guy, saying such profanity

doubleodoggy 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 22:08

haha nice!

mante_fml 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 22:23

stupid ass

ElenaBeattie 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 22:42

lol that is funny

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 201

The Top

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 804

You deserved it 15 031

Today, I was playing Wii Sports Golf. At the start of the final hole, my cat happened to run right in my way and I accidentally hit him, in addition to the ball. To add insult to injury, the ball went in the water, and my cat fell and landed in his litterbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 254

Today, I bought some new LED underglow lights for underneath my car. I was putting them on when my dad came out, insisted on taking over, and then proceeded to break them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 163

You deserved it 687

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 651

You deserved it 14 680

Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 2 113

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 749

You deserved it 2 815