Miscellaneous: Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door,... - FML

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 7 514

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Same thing different taste

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 530

You deserved it 7 803

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 657

Never flip flop and drive

By Alyce - 09/10/2020 08:10 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 563

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

Karma?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 520

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 037

By chevysprint - 28/02/2010 05:36 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 414

You deserved it 33 390

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 404

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 383

Next

Top comments

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:03

That's a good trick. Really. That's like tripping over your feet and landing on your boss's exposed penis.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:22

Maybe I should consider using that as an excuse more often. "I'm sorry, I fell on your wallet in such a way that it landed in my pocket."

Comments

noidea_fml 3

Thursday 17 September 2009 22:33

lol this is great! definitly fyl

bobby222 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 22:37

YDI for walking like a retard.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 17 September 2009 22:40

"I was running late for work, so I didn't change my shirt... The evening's drinks left a lingering taste in my mouth..." /postal service

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 17 September 2009 23:21

I'm trying to imagine a setup in which your car would be that close to the porch. I can't think of one, so I'm saying YDI.

alex_vik 0

Friday 18 September 2009 0:16

Wow, do you really need to park your car two feet from your porch?

tcnorden 0

Friday 18 September 2009 0:48

My car is two feet from my porch. I have a circular driveway. So, I just thought of a circumstance all of you who have no logic/imagination. Hahaha :) FYL!!! Sorry, girl!

The_Pleb 0

Friday 18 September 2009 0:51

Women drivers should be illegal, they cause more deaths then drugs

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 18 September 2009 1:13

Male comment posters should be banned. They require more translation "then" ancient Latin texts.

iheartjustinsane 0

Friday 18 September 2009 3:05

Lmaoooo #38! Nice. :)

Nightfallz 0

Friday 18 September 2009 3:37

fake. no way you could key a car by falling out your door

kyleenstar 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:01

She didn't say she fell out the door, she said she "hurried out the door". I think she was saying that she was in a hurry and was probably already out the door. Not that she literally fell as she stepped out her front door.

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The Top

Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 98

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 606

You deserved it 41 963

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 374

You deserved it 47 208

Today, I had to cover for a coworker so I worked a 12-hour shift. I worked so late, I missed the final episode of Game of Thrones, which I have been really looking forward to. Guess who texted me, talking about how it ended? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 161

You deserved it 335

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 218

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 432

You deserved it 40 429

Today, my long-term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course, he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy, I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way too old for him. I'm three years younger than my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 954

You deserved it 2 710