Miscellaneous: Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door,... - FML

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 7 514

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Same thing different taste

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 530

You deserved it 7 803

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 657

Never flip flop and drive

By Alyce - 09/10/2020 08:10 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 563

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

Karma?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 520

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 037

By chevysprint - 28/02/2010 05:36 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 414

You deserved it 33 390

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 404

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 383

Next

Top comments

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:03

That's a good trick. Really. That's like tripping over your feet and landing on your boss's exposed penis.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:22

Maybe I should consider using that as an excuse more often. "I'm sorry, I fell on your wallet in such a way that it landed in my pocket."

Comments

iheartpink 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:04

what the hell is wrong with people now????wow your a ******* retard how the hell does that happen??!!!FYL

Mata_Hari 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:11

Not only how close is your car to your porch, but how could you do that really? I mean, I can't imagine how you fell in such a way that you keyed it? Was your arm outstretched? Sorry if this is a stupid comment, I've never keyed a car before so I wouldn't get the exact art/dynamics/whatever.

jhommie9696 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:23

and he shal be called CAPTAIN FAIL BUCKET!!! Bucket... bucket...

greent_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 8:33

YDI for driving a car.

uhoh1717 1

Friday 18 September 2009 12:11

YDI Vandal jk that sucks

ladiesman14 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 6:45

good thing you werent chewing gum too. you would have choked and died.

caperi 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 6:49

Clearly he didn't know it was his; he's not being ungrateful if nobody has given or shown the intention of giving him something. My guess is that he assumed the car was parjed there by a random stranger seeing as he's never seen it before. then he called it a "piece of shit" because it has no business sitting on their driveway.

kaylapple 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:42

you must be clumsy!

keebler123 2

Friday 5 August 2011 19:26

fake

byron17 26

Saturday 12 January 2013 21:39

how the hell does she deserve it for driving a car????? That sucks dude...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 856

You deserved it 7 517

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 437

You deserved it 2 707

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 250

You deserved it 5 719

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 615

You deserved it 5 739

Today, I reunited with my mother and my sisters after a long time. I actually walked out of the reunion, too, after I drove 800 km away, only to find out that they're fighting over my late father's inheritance. I had vanished from my family because they were always possessive and crawling up my ass every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 87

Today, after waiting two months to attend a very important course, I finally got to go. This is the same day I caught a horrible cold, got Auntie Flow’s monthly visit, my IBS flared up, and my acid reflux as well. So here I go, crampy, constipated, congested, and gassy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 274

Today, a friend told me he no longer wishes to be my friend, not because I did something, just because he no longer looks forward to seeing me, counts down every minute until a socially acceptable time to leave, and is always thinking up excuses to either be late or not come at all. Wow, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 174