Love: Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my...

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 972

You deserved it 9 636

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Same thing different taste

Don't worry dad

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 18:00

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 261

You deserved it 516

By Wreet - 11/01/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 064

You deserved it 78 728

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 3 061

Don't be a dingdong

By Steve - 03/04/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 2 741

By Noname - 14/02/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 4 231

By helloitsbrian6969 - 24/05/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 003

You deserved it 158 322

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 776

You deserved it 4 994

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 243

By Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 547

You deserved it 64 576

Thanks for the help

By singlemom - 15/07/2021 16:01

Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 184

anniebananie 3

Thursday 23 July 2009 12:04

A 17 year old guy walks into a pharmacy. He says to the pharmacist (bragging) "Yeah, my girlfriend is starting to get really hot for some good lovin. I think it's time that I buy some condoms so that I can give it to her good. Tonight we are going to have dinner at her parents house and then going out to inspiration point". The pharmacist recomends a brand of condoms. The guy buys them and leaves. Later that night at the parents house the family and the guy sit down to dinner. The guy asks to say grace. The family obliges. He starts "Dear god, Please protect us and forgive us for our sins," as he continues his speech gets more and more religious. He begs for forgiveness, he asks for world peace, he wishes that everyone could be all knowing. As he continues the family (and his girlfriend) sit in amazement. Finally he finishes, 'God bless us every one." "Wow" his girlfriend says, "I didn't know you were so relgious." "Yeah well, I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist".

anniebananie 3

Thursday 23 July 2009 12:19

Ummm.. FAIL on all of your parts. Have none of you ever heard that joke? I was pointing out that this story is seriously similar to that one joke about the pharmacist that everyone's heard, except I didn't realize all of you would be too retarded to notice the similarity.

Comments

sacredpoppy 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 13:50

Slip knot: Wow, you're a real winner. Shut the **** up.

ams116 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 13:50

You should have said: "dont worry. Im not gonna use them with your daughter if thats what you are thinking."

jacobs_double 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 22:55

"that's a joke, I don't wear condoms!"

plexico 3

Thursday 23 July 2009 14:25

How's this an FML? Your girlfriend's dad gave you a compliment on how you **** his daughter. I'd have given you the fat side of my baseball bat.

Eelusive 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 14:53

YDI for trying to create a romantic evening from Costco.

epicFAIL_Sometim 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 14:59

costco? seriously? congratulations, you've sunk to a whole new level of sad.

291togo 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 15:04

I agree. What's the big deal? It's a complement.

sportsnut 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 15:06

somehow i don't see "dinner" from Costco being anywhere near romantic...haha, i think i found that more hilarious than the fact that you got caught buying condoms in front of her dad

gabbyxraawr 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 17:57

...if he knows how to cook, he can buy ingredients to make a nice dinner, and I'm sure it'll be just as good as if he bought the ingredients from somewhere else.

blacklagoon_fml 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 15:08

YDI for shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening! Have you been there before? It's a ******* warehouse where you buy steak and frozen waffles in bulk.