Intimacy: Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus...

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 802

You deserved it 30 068

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 10:04 - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 1 372

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 5 092

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 868

You deserved it 2 718

By comfylap - 28/05/2010 23:30 - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 821

You deserved it 6 447

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 18:04 - Portugal - Sintra

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 035

You deserved it 7 289

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 425

You deserved it 4 883

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 264

You deserved it 5 713

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 6 260

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 133

By meteorbabe0101 - 14/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800 056

You deserved it 65 863

gogokira 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:58

gross bro

mintcar 9

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:59

Wow...how'd you explain that one?

Comments

ihatemma 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:33

damn

japanmoran 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:35

been there done that. next time unzip your fly first.

zero1469 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:35

lmfao nice move bro haha

dawilcox 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:35

good thing mine is to small to be noticed. F my life.

ScreamoGirl84 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:37

Haha, that happened to me before:)

natetheman14 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:40

haha

nuke1729 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:41

i want to bang u mint car

mismonroe 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:52

If my house burns down, please don't come.

DealsOnWheels 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:42

Nicely done.. at least she didn't charge you by the hour ;)

Danny2995 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:45

damn hope it was not small haha

avatar0810 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:48

maybe she liked it?

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 170

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

The Top

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 653

You deserved it 4 536

Today, after 5 years of being off and on, my boyfriend and I had pinky-swore that we would never break up again, but after a year of this he confessed that he'd had a fling the last time we broke up, and she'd got pregnant with twins. After therapy and marriage we are now trying to have a baby but his ding-a-ling can't get it up because of baby mama drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 610

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 2 093

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 447

You deserved it 15 008

Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 217

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaimed, "That was amazing Drew." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name, which doesn't sound anything like Drew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 046

You deserved it 4 109

Same thing different taste

Reunited

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