Miscellaneous: Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my... - FML

By nomorealcoholeva - 14/03/2015 16:52 - Norway - Bod?

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 261

You deserved it 17 022

nomorealcoholeva tells us more.

nomorealcoholeva 9

Sunday 15 March 2015 19:45

Followup for asked questions! I found my phone, wallet and lipstick in the Mailbox. I am 97% sure i smashed the window with the heel of my shoes. And i live alone, so the only explaining i have to do is to my landlord, Jesus, i do not look forward to that. And yes. I am a 22year old girl. Boom

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

rebelbelle 17

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:02

sounds like drunk you is pretty smart

logic368 8

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:30

Your landlord is Jesus? Sounds like all you can do is pray...

Comments

Dalboz 26

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:48

"Today I was so drunk that"... YDI

vikky538 28

Sunday 15 March 2015 13:23

that other one inside you made you do that ...

suri23 11

Sunday 15 March 2015 13:31

That was an unlikely combination of drunkenness, impatience and resourcefulness.

hammonds92 21

Sunday 15 March 2015 13:59

Kinda ask for that one didn't you

BlondePsycho 43

Sunday 15 March 2015 14:03

Thats pretty resourceful

jaymartino86 10

Sunday 15 March 2015 14:04

Way to go Solid Snake

MrAsquared100 14

Sunday 15 March 2015 14:48

On a scale of one to even, I can't.

PizzaElHutt 7

Monday 16 March 2015 12:10

Hahahahahaha

Medhi_fml 18

Sunday 15 March 2015 15:10

Wow. I dont even know what to rate this as.

sicksadworld1317 30

Sunday 15 March 2015 15:52

Moderation is "key"!

Bethani420 5

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:31

drunk logic...

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 121

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 625

The Top

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 303

You deserved it 4 390

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 670

You deserved it 3 231

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 343

You deserved it 42 615

Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 215

You deserved it 2 018

Today, a gorgeous girl was making eyes at me in a cafe, and she actually came and said hi to me. Before I could say hi back, my brother said to her, “Stop making eyes at my boyfriend you slut.” She left upset and I wanted to murder him. He thought it was the best prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 112

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 153

You deserved it 42 320