Intimacy: Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend,...

By Mr. Sensitive Nips - 17/03/2011 22:38 - United States

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 586

You deserved it 9 403

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Same thing different taste

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

You deserved it 978

By Anonymous - 23/07/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

I agree, your life sucks 40 870

You deserved it 16 882

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 068

You deserved it 2 096

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 039

You deserved it 5 994

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 636

You deserved it 31 360

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 933

You deserved it 10 196

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 979

You deserved it 1 172

Noob to boobs

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 227

You deserved it 43 819

Vaporeon?

By me. - 07/05/2012 20:38 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 12 182

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 710

holymolybro 0

Friday 18 March 2011 0:04

"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."

chlorinegreen 27

Friday 18 March 2011 0:04

tell her to stand in front of you?

Comments

L3Paparazzo 7

Friday 18 March 2011 3:44

happy Saint Patrick Day :)

imausiehowboutyo 0

Friday 18 March 2011 4:19

lol yeah very happy st patricks day hahahhaah

phatmatt1 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 4:02

hey

Thedrugslikeme2 0

Friday 18 March 2011 3:47

I laughed twice.. the first time is when she pinched your nipple.

22Marie22 0

Friday 18 March 2011 3:49

Ha that's funny.

ronmascara 0

Friday 18 March 2011 3:52

TheNewGuy03 28

Friday 18 March 2011 4:29

hey, think of it as something new that can be used to your advantage. that said... MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. |the kid|

heyheyhello 0

Friday 18 March 2011 4:46

the Irish nipple curse eh? gets the best of us

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 18 March 2011 5:33

58 - He won't step on it if it's not flapping in the wind. Tape fixes that problem.

choirnerd9 0

Friday 18 March 2011 5:41

Everything's bigger in Texas.

testthecoal 5

Saturday 19 March 2011 6:26

Except their brains.

rebecca1992 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 6:07

I resent that remark... There are lots of smart people in Texas... And I hate it when people stereotype other... I hate it when people still act like races can't mix, etc. ...

rebecca1992 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 6:09

I am in love with a half black half white man, and nobody knows it yet, not because I'm scared of what they may say, but because I can't be with him yet....

oGarlande 0

Friday 18 March 2011 6:05

dude if she caused it than she has the obligation to fix the problem. just go out to your car and have a quickie.

rebecca1992 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 6:13

If I would've caused it I would have been very quick to 'jump on it'... lol ;-) and then I would've kept going and going, and pinching and pinching..... :-D) I can be fun in that area :)