Health: Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors...

By muffintop - 11/07/2011 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 186

You deserved it 13 575

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 573

You deserved it 49 770

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 463

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 568

You deserved it 4 756

By kclopez - 19/08/2017 23:15

Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 367

You deserved it 4 833

By search_me - 16/07/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 979

You deserved it 3 322

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 652

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 13 424

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 941

You deserved it 11 455

spazmattic 0

Monday 11 July 2011 9:06

Do the truffle shuffle?

Jacobt24 19

Monday 11 July 2011 9:09

at least OP isn't like some people and tuck their rolls into their pants with a huge bulge in the crotch area

Comments

pegasus187 9

Wednesday 13 July 2011 4:48

you should have said it was one of your fat rolls and make him feel like a idiot

lovelinkinpark 1

Wednesday 13 July 2011 6:17

LoL

LilyZombie 8

Wednesday 12 October 2011 2:14

"it's an all natural pouch, sir, for carrying cellulite. Want some?"

Wildghost123 13

Monday 24 February 2014 6:20

lose some weight

Chipz_Ahoy 8

Thursday 3 April 2014 15:22

At least you don't have more rolls than a bread truck.

damoonster 11

Saturday 30 July 2016 0:34

you should've just asked him for a scalpel

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 892

You deserved it 8 626

Today, I was mourning the recent loss of a close family member. My ex's idea of comforting me was to ask if he could come over so I could “give him some bomb ass head” to take my mind off things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 434

You deserved it 511

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 716

You deserved it 13 716

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year-old man with a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 3 529

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 4 535

Today, my father stumbled upon the quickest way to get me out of bed in the morning: ripping out my nose stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 3 439

Same thing different taste

TSA

Smugglers unite

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