Kids: Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on...

By Katherine - 13/02/2012 21:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 6 510

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Same thing different taste

So cute

By "lildale92" - 05/11/2019 02:00

Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 301

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 475

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 955

You deserved it 7 529

Ivy league

By WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 816

You deserved it 6 274

By Cellphonetroubles - 19/11/2009 07:36 - Canada

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 673

You deserved it 48 068

Kinda bizarre

By @SamAnderson - 16/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 563

Hair care

By hairball - 22/04/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 818

You deserved it 28 702

By gangstalicious - 08/05/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 300

You deserved it 13 570

By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 347

You deserved it 58 545

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 3 725

desireev 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:07

Aww! He was just thinkin' of you Momma! Sweet little boy! :)

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:11

Scrub a dub dub IPhone in the tub!

Comments

Chrissiepoo 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:52

Submerge it in rice and leave it alone for a day or so. It might still function normally.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:58

Listen, it's about time you got rid of that flip phone anyways.

armywife0609 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:00

Lol that was kinda cute though maybe you should get the commando from verizon my husband has it and it is waterproof believe it or not.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:09

DON'T say SHIT about the hair dryer!!!

anneboleyn994 2

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:13

That's actually quite cute; very sweet of him! Sorry about your phone though.

anjala83 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:34

Sux

HeartOnSleeves 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:46

My sister did that after she spilled milk all over the remote controls for the GameCube..

tennis_jens 5

Tuesday 14 February 2012 7:16

Gotta love kids and their innocence. :)

akjake907 2

Tuesday 14 February 2012 8:04

Can't blame the kid for trying its a nice sentiment

mrssuarez2011 12

Tuesday 14 February 2012 8:52

There's no way I could even be upset at that.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 168

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 559

You deserved it 570 264

Today, we all know the expression “Salt in your wounds” and it sounds rather unpleasant, right? Well, I just managed to breathe in while biting into an egg, so trust me, salt in your lungs isn’t great, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 197

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 732

You deserved it 10 935

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 363

Today, after I gave notice to quit my job 3 weeks ago, and my last day is tomorrow, I found out that all overtime is now $40 an hour. FML

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You deserved it 229