Kids: Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on...

By Katherine - 13/02/2012 21:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 6 510

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Same thing different taste

So cute

By "lildale92" - 05/11/2019 02:00

Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 301

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 475

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 955

You deserved it 7 529

Ivy league

By WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 816

You deserved it 6 274

By Cellphonetroubles - 19/11/2009 07:36 - Canada

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 673

You deserved it 48 068

Kinda bizarre

By @SamAnderson - 16/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 563

Hair care

By hairball - 22/04/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 818

You deserved it 28 702

By gangstalicious - 08/05/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 300

You deserved it 13 570

By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 347

You deserved it 58 545

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 3 725

desireev 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:07

Aww! He was just thinkin' of you Momma! Sweet little boy! :)

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:11

Scrub a dub dub IPhone in the tub!

Comments

jessica53139 10

Friday 9 March 2012 22:45

How cute :)

Fmylife107 5

Thursday 12 April 2012 8:21

He's adorable!!

Cuzsleepyhead 0

Tuesday 29 May 2012 5:54

He didn't want you getting sick awee :) maybe he is a germaphob lol no problem there cute kid

cb1002630 11

Monday 11 March 2013 5:16

That's so sweet!

cwl727 32

Wednesday 30 April 2014 20:25

That is really cute.

ryanator008 23

Saturday 19 July 2014 2:19

Now if only you had a waterproof one like me. ;)

misha_granger 7

Saturday 2 April 2016 20:26

Rubba dub dub mommy' phone in a tub

Nico711 17

Friday 21 February 2020 1:34

He a little confused, but he got the spirit

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

The Top

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1 p.m., smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4 a.m., jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 46 394

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 779

You deserved it 5 657

Today, I threw out my back while trying to put together my new ergonomic chair, which was supposed to help my bad back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 528

You deserved it 3 583

Today, my new neighbor just put up really loud wind chimes. I just got a ton of letters under my door, stating if I don't take them down, they're going to file a noise complaint with the building management. She owns her condo, I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 103

Today, my mom called me a “subhuman inbred.” All because I was fidgeting during church without realizing I was doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 119

Today, my sister and I are never allowed to go out, and by out I mean even open the front door. Last night, I snuck outside. What did I do in my rare act of rebellion? I cut the grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 128