Miscellaneous: Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked...

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 2 533

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Cool nickname

By nearsighted-ut - 26/09/2019 02:00

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 126

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 046

You deserved it 2 967

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 2 774

By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 557

You deserved it 3 586

To the window, to the wall

By Kim - 17/07/2020 23:01

Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 429

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 245

You deserved it 3 701

By harshdoobie - 18/01/2012 15:18 - Canada

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 151

You deserved it 3 354

By Anonymous - 12/02/2014 17:26 - United States - Louisville

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 234

You deserved it 4 426

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

saba_ajira 29

Thursday 27 August 2015 6:33

It sounds like your family members are the only asses in this picture. Sorry OP

cara_marie0303 18

Thursday 27 August 2015 6:33

Hopefully she has a weird sense of humor and was kidding? Most people keep those in the shower. Anyway, that sucks OP, hope your day got better!

Comments

enginsteve 17

Thursday 27 August 2015 10:52

At least it wasn't the three seashells...

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:45

I still want to know how those things work. I guess I could just yell a few curses out loud and use the verbal violation tickets to clean up.

maximus_prime 24

Thursday 27 August 2015 12:08

I'm trying to think of a Yo Mommas Ass joke, but I'm drawing blank. Please help...

pike1346 3

Thursday 27 August 2015 19:53

Now that's funny

kirkaygri 18

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:04

Some people with horrible hemmroids are recommended by their doctor to use cotton towels to wipe, not scratchy toilet paper. I have an older relative who uses flour sack towels. They're, of course, not ledt where others could use them. That could be the situation. Or the mom is really, really odd. Or joking.

Girlshotdown1 21

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:23

This is a repost...

PsychicBulwark 4

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:33

Mature, classy household. Nothing to see here.

greeneyedx 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 21:46

Anyone else think of "assbutt"?

iwadasn 32

Thursday 27 August 2015 22:48

Why would you wash your face with a used washcloth? Just use a clean one and you won't have to worry about where it's been.

Sparx1_1 16

Friday 28 August 2015 0:17

A: lots of people use flushable wipes to be extra clean. Reusing anything just transfers the germs back and forth and leaves you dirtier than when you started. B: Your mother is disgusting. What kind of ******* moron leaves a cloth they wiped their ass with just laying around? C: I can see why people would think it's funny - the first time. People who are not clinically retarded however would realize that point B is a bigger problem considering this might be them one day if they don't make mom stop leaving her shit rags laying around. Make sure you get a clean fresh washcloth every time you wash and fresh towel for drying your face OP and if mom does not like the extra laundry remind her that she's a disgusting pig so you don't have a choice.