Health: Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant... - FML

By wastedbaby - 04/07/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 740

You deserved it 3 767

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 156

You deserved it 1 320

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 08:23 - United States - Portland

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 167

You deserved it 4 500

Slippery slope

By ur_life_dus_suck - 21/01/2016 13:08 - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 256

You deserved it 1 707

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 441

You deserved it 4 151

By kashish0711 - 02/08/2009 16:14 - India

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 698

You deserved it 3 184

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 034

You deserved it 3 027

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 252

You deserved it 4 587

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

Late night customers are the worst

By viviham - 04/05/2012 12:08 - United States - Spring Branch

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 878

You deserved it 2 348

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

Next

Top comments

jellybelliez 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:33

that's not cool

ilm350 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:35

mom to be+beer= FML user hah

Comments

zarjazz 0

Monday 4 July 2011 23:09

oh geezus, it was one beer. the op didn't say she was wasted but that she had A beer in her hand. that beer was probably the only beer she had and could have taken a while to drink. she was probably very late in her term and wanted a beer to relax after carrying 5lbs+ in her for months (and still having to squeeze out a watermelon through a lemon hole). geezus. op: get over it. your parents have home video of you so they're probably decent to great parents. you sound anal retentive but intelligent enough, aka: totally okay. grow up: your parents have their life to live too, stop acting as if it's all about you.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:54

Jesus*. There is no such word/slang as 'geezus'.

AbbaZab 4

Monday 4 July 2011 23:12

explained a lot didn't it?

ramseyrutherford 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 0:42

how do people say she deserved it?

koolman222 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:13

agreed

kei1108 13

Tuesday 5 July 2011 0:46

Ugh I hate it when people do that...

SandraYvette 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:14

My mom got drunk when I was 8months in her and began to jump in a jumper.. I Blame her for all my problems.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:47

at least she wasn't taking hits from the bog.

sexykitty18 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:55

that would explain a lot I'm sure

IvyPalin 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:04

who cares at least it wasn't a video of her almost getting an abortion

ibrar 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:31

maybe that wasn't her beer

bibbypower 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:16

wow.......

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The Top

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 371

You deserved it 1 739

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 556

You deserved it 7 265

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 499

You deserved it 7 621

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 208

You deserved it 3 893

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 67

Today, I had a major "WTF?" moment when a teenage goth, who was clearly still drunk at 7 a.m., with a vodka bottle in his pocket, plonked down next to me on the train, glanced at my crossword and pointed out where I’d gotten three words wrong, and one word that was right but misspelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 546