Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if...

By Benji - 20/05/2009 19:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 553

You deserved it 7 506

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 246

You deserved it 4 260

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 954

You deserved it 1 197

By Bruce - 02/02/2012 03:11 - United States

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 505

You deserved it 3 423

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 10 135

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 267

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 954

You deserved it 7 196

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 713

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 539

You deserved it 2 567

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 4 391

By disheshateme - 18/11/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 706

You deserved it 3 986

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

Comments

KUJAWSKI 0

Friday 20 January 2012 1:57

it's kinda weird that you where talking to Ur mom while naked

kirstyannemiller 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 22:16

Why weren't you wearing pants if your mum was in the room? You's are waaay too close..

jon7688 7

Friday 3 August 2012 17:01

Why are you drinking coffee naked with your mom??

livnamyth 7

Saturday 8 December 2012 3:36

Why werent you wearing pants?....

yourlifesucksHA 14

Tuesday 24 December 2013 4:07

What lol?!?!!!!

AHHHHHHZAVENYAAA 10

Sunday 23 February 2014 1:39

For the people saying he was naked... he may have been wearing shorts?

Goodliife 13

Friday 11 April 2014 10:54

nasty..

anonymooss 7

Friday 13 March 2015 15:54

That was wild from start to finish

timmay801 10

Wednesday 25 March 2015 13:02

Why was it out in the first place

lmao_at_ur_life 8

Thursday 20 August 2015 5:18

the coffee penetrated more then u ever will??

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You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 363

You deserved it 6 129

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I had been dating for a while, when I suddenly went into an anaphylactic shock. Instead of helping me and calling the emergency line as I was losing consciousness, the guy drunkenly slurred to me that I should "just calm down" and then went into a deep snoring sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 929

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Today, my sister refused to come to the hospital with the rest of my family to visit my new baby. Apparently, I’m an "attention hogging slutbag" because I "chose to go into labor" on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 152

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 704

You deserved it 7 361

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 3 962

Today, I walked in on my soon-to-be-ex-husband with his coworker (who we'd always argued about) bent over in front of him. Both of them buck ass naked. He was supposed to be watching our two year-old daughter, who was in another room eating applesauce by herself. She was drenched in applesauce from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 201

Same thing different taste

Thanks, lady

Butter fingers

For science

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